Great White Snark: September 2010

Thursday, September 30, 2010

THIS is the most wonderful time of the year.

Those of you who know me know that my year revolves around one day:

October 31.

Halloween is my number one, super-ultimate, best, favoritest holiday EVER. I don't know if it's the spookiness or the candy or the dressing up or WHAT. It's just an amazing time of the year.

To celebrate, you can expect some changes here in the Sea of Snark. Just beware...

Saturday, September 25, 2010

So fetch.

I saw this movie last night and LOVED it. I saw previews for it way back in like, April, and have been anxiously awaiting its release ever since. There are very few movies that I go see in theatres that REALLY make me laugh, heartily and out loud. This was definitely one of them. It was refreshing (albeit predictable), hilarious, quotable, and had a really sweet message beneath it all. I'm nearly certain it'll enter the "High School Movie Canon."

That got me to thinking about my favorite high school movies. Thought I'd compose a short list!

Mary's Top 5 High School Movies (in no particular order):

1. Napoleon Dynamite (2004)

There is no gray area for this movie: either you love it or hate it. I'm in the former camp. I don't know what it is about this movie...the deadpan one-liners? The weird nondescript chronological setting? All the zany quotes? I have no idea. I just really like it. I feel like it was the first movie of its kind (whatever that kind may actually be...). Others have since tried, but failed, to hit the mark.

Synopsis: I remember when this movie came out, everyone was like, "It has no plot! I still don't know what it's about!" Honestly, they're kind of right. But to do the best I can, I'd say it's a story about an asbolutely bizarre guy named Napoleon and his journey to make all his "flippin' sweet" dreams come true. It's also about his cousin Kip's search for his soul mate, his friend Deb's search for belonging, and Pedro's quest to become school president. All of these things end up working out. But a lot of really odd stuff happens in between (including, but not limited to, Napoleon's grandmother breaking her coccyx jumping dunes on an ATV, tossing food at llamas, a heinous job at a chicken farm, thrift store adventures, awful drawings, karate classes with "Rex Kwan Doe," an awfully awkward dance scene, and dance lessons with D-Kwan, all followed by a an epilogue involving a "honeymoon stallion" and karaoke about technology with Kip).

Starring: Jon Heder, Haylie Duff, Aaron Ruell, Efren Ramirez, Jon Gries

Notable song: "We're Going to be Friends," by the White Stripes.

2. Mean Girls (2004)

I saw this movie in high school and loathed it. I watched it once I'd been out of high school for a few years, and ADORED it. I love this movie. It is hilarious, quotable, and overall, I think, has a good message.

Synopsis: Cady Heron is a transfer student who had been previously home-schooled in Africa her entire life. She's completely naive to the politics of American public high school. Enter "the Plastics," the school's most cruel and popular clique. They decide to make a project out of Cady by adopting her into the group. Cady and her artsy friends decide to use this as an in by which to destroy the Plastics. A whole lot of stuff happens, but ultimately sweet Cady is morphed into one of the Plastics, and wreaks her own brand of Plastic-esque havoc on the group. It culminates in an epic school-wide free for all fight, and an excellent (and hilarious) intervention scene which stars Tina Fey. Ultimately, the catty politics are eradicated, the Queen Bee is hit by a bus (seriously), the Plastics disband, and Cady emerges a sweet and better-dressed version of herself. It's a story about how popularity is bad, and you need to not judge other people and be true to yourself, which is totes a recurring theme in high school movies.

Starring: pre-trainwreck Lindsay Lohan, RACHEL MCADAMS, Amanda Seyfried, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler

Notable Song: "Pass That Dutch," by Missy Elliott.

3. 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

I adore this movie. Thanks to films like this, "Clueless," and the TV shows "Saved by the Bell" and "Full House," this was the ultimate epitome of high school coolness in my young childhood mind. I dunno though. I mean, I still tend to think of Julia Stiles and Heath Ledger as total badasses.

Synopsis: Loosely based on "The Taming of the Shrew," this movie starts with a young Joseph Gordon-Levitt who plays a nerdy guy pining over the high school pretty girl, Bianca. Unfortunately, as a rule instated by Bianca's father, she's not allowed to date until her rebellious, bitter, angry, man-hating sister, Kat, dates too. Enter a scheme to find a guy willing to date Kat. Also enter Heath Ledger, bad-boy with a tender heart from Australia. Although he doesn't just date Kat willingly--he needs to be paid in order to date Kat. Again, stuff happens, and Patrick (Heath Ledger's character) falls in love with Kat. Big climax, fighting, resolving, etc. In the end everyone ends up happy and together.

Starring: Heath Ledger, Julia Stiles, Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Notable Song: Heath Ledger's touching version of "Can't Take My Eyes Off of You."

4. Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)

So I had wanted this list to be John Hughes free. Alas, I could NOT leave out Ferris!!! SAVE FERRIS! If you haven't seen this movie, kick yourself for being even less functional in the modern world than I am, and go see it NOW. It is hilarious and awesome, and kind of like the #1 best high school flick EVER. Also, it has this quote, which might be the best quote ever: "Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. I'd still have to bum rides off people."

Synopsis: It's literally a movie about this guy, Ferris, who takes a day off from school. And it's a pretty EXCELLENT day. He goes to a baseball game at Wrigley Field, steals his friend's dad's antique Ferarri, visits the Sears Tower and the Chicago Art Institute, and gets atop a float in a downtown parade and sings "Twist and Shout" to the entire city. The best thing? He makes it home before his parents manage to catch him.

Starring: Matthew Broderick, Alan Ruck, Mia Sara, Jeffrey Jones

Notable Song: "Oh Yeah," by Yello.

5. Better Off Dead (1985)

This movie never seems to make those "greatest high school movies" lists, and I haven't a clue WHY NOT. I love this movie. It's absolutely bizarre, and hilarious, and touching. I feel like it's a relatively weird and accurate look at high school life, too.

Synopsis: Lane Meyer is your average high school guy who just got dumped by his gorgeous girlfriend, with whom he's 100% in love, for the high school ski captain. Lane is so depressed that he half-heartedly attempts to commit suicide over and over again, failing each time (and it's funny, not depressing). Through a series of events, Lane gets to know a French foreign exchange student, Monique, who's staying with his neighbors. She restores his confidence in himself and his enjoyment in life, and the film ends with a climactic ski race between Head Ski Guy and Lane. And it ends with Lane overcoming his depression, and being a generally happy guy. Also, there's a genius/playboy younger brother, a stop-motion animation scene involving hamburgers gone awry, Barney Rubble trying to get Lane's girlfriend, and a best friend who's willing to snort anything from nasal spray to snow. It's AWESOME.

Starring: John Cusack, Curtis Armstrong, Amanda Wyss, Diane Franklin

Notable Song: "One Way Love (Better Off Dead)," by E.G. Daily

So those are my top 5 high school movies. I don't know if it's because high school has generally not changed at all, or if everyone's experiences, while varied, are pretty much the same, but high school movies are kind of timeless. And a good reminder to enjoy the present, and that sometimes "growing up" isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's good to embrace your inner 16 year old kid sometimes! Anyway, I highly recommend seeing these films sometime. If nothing else, go see "Easy A" one day. It was highly enjoyable.

Do you have a high school movie you like or would rec? Let me know! Have a lovely weekend, loves.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

"You made your own snares. I never made them."

"I crossed the staircase landing and entered the room she indicated. From that room too the daylight was completely excluded and it had an airless smell that was oppressive. A fire had been lately kindled in the damp, old fashioned grate and it was more disposed to go out than to burn up, and the reluctant smoke which hung in the room seemed colder than the clearer air like our own marsh mist. Certain wintry branches of candles on the high chimneypiece faintly lighted the ch€amber or, it would be more expressive to say, faintly troubled its darkness. It was spacious and, I daresay, had once been handsome, but every discernible thing in it was covered with dust and mould and dropping to pieces. The most prominent object was a long table with a tablecloth spread on it, as if a feast had been in preparation when the house and the clocks all stopped together. An epergne or centre piece of some kind was in the middle of this cloth; it was so heavily overhung with cobwebs that its form was quite undistinguishable; and as I looked along the yellow expanse out of which I remember its seeming to grow, like a black fungus, I saw speckled legged spiders with blotchy bodies running home to it, and running out from it, as if some circumstance of the greatest public importance had just transpired in the spider community.
"What do you think that is?" she asked me again with her stick. "That where those cobwebs are?"
"I can't guess what it is, ma'am."
"It's a great cake. A bride cake. Mine!"


"So unchanging was the dull old house, the yellow light ... in the darkened room, the faded spectre in the chair by the dressing-table glass, that I felt as if the stopping of the clocks had stopped Time in that mysterious place, and, while I and everything else outside it grew older, it stood still. Daylight never entered the house as to my thoughts and remembrances of it, any more than as to the actual fact.
"On this day of the year, long before you were born, this heap of decay," stabbing with her crutched stick at the pile of cobwebs on the table but not touching it, "was brought here. It and I have worn away together. The mice have gnawed at it, and sharper teeth than teeth of mice have gnawed at me."


I don't know why...attribute it to fall and Halloween and whatnot, but I'm feeling SUPER inspired by Miss Havisham. Miss Havisham is, of course, the old lady in Charles Dickens' Great Expectations. On the day of her wedding, she received news that her fiancee had abandoned her. She stopped all the clocks in her home, Satis House, and from that day on blocked out all sunshine. Every day she wore her wedding dress and veil, and one shoe (as she had not finished putting on the other shoe when she received the news), determined to halt time in that one moment and never move on from her heartbreak. She plays an integral part in the story and in ruining Pip's life, but I just like the cobwebby, ancient feel she seems to give off.

I love the feel of these images. I think it encapsulates the decaying, old-timey feel of the Havisham thing. (Credit.)

This is my take. I just imagine "Havisham Chic," if you will, to include lots of whites, grays and dusty rose hues--lots of drapey, loose, fabrics and shirred hems. Ruffles, lace, cameos and little gothic details complete the look.

Is anything inspiring you right now, Dear Readers?

I also wanted to do a product review.

Kindle for PC

The product in question is Kindle for PC.

Here's the deal.

When E-readers first came out, I was appalled. I found them to be abhorrent, hideous devices meant to further destroy the printed word in our culture. I loathed the idea with every fiber in my being. How on EARTH can holding a cold piece of metal and plastic in between your hands EVER replace the incredible feeling of turning pages, of smelling must in old books, and wondering who turned the pages before you, devouring the ink like sustenance?

Well, you can't.

But the Kindle for PC is a really super cool invention if you like to read a lot, carry a laptop to boring classes, and don't want to lug around novels in addition to textbooks. Aka: me.

It's absolutely FREE to download, which is pretty darn sweet. You wanna know what else is cool? There are hundreds, possibly even thousands, of titles that are FREE too! A lot of the classics are free. SHERLOCK EFFING HOLMES IS FREE. You should get it for that reason alone. But really. If you want to read classics off your laptop or computer, this is an incredible way to do it.

The interface is pretty user-friendly. Those of you who know me know that I am just barely a functioning member of 21st century society when it comes to technology. Even I figured this out. So I'm sure you can, too. I really like how you can bookmark your page, and when you shut down the application or your computer and restart it, it opens right back up to the page you were. You can also highlight text, and there's even a capability to take notes in the "margins," which is pretty cool. You just download the book and it uses this thing called "Whispersync" and delivers it right into your Kindle on your computer. It is easy-peasy. I've finished two novels on it so far and haven't spend a PENNY.

Now THAT is cool.

I highly suggest you give it a try. If you do, let me know how you like it! I'm curious! Do you use any other device to read books other than, y'know, books? How do you like them?

Have a lovely week, Readers. :)

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned...

I gave out my fake number again.

I'm not guilty about that though for two reasons:
1. This guy was legit creepy.
2. I do this enough that I've stopped feeling bad about it.

Here's the bad part. You wanna know what name I have him?


Really, creativity? That's the BEST you could do??

^^Me, apparently.

All of this really begs the question: Oh, Romeo, Romeo, WHEREFORE ART THOU, Romeo??

One day, I will meet a guy and give him my REAL number.

Until then, yours sincerely,
Alice Holmes.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

General life update stuff.

Hi, guys!

I know I've been quiet...sporadic at best. There's been a lot going on, most of it school-related. And because of that, I feel like there's very little interesting enough to report on. But I will try my best.

Let's see.

House update! Since the flood (like, 2 months ago), we finally got all the wood floors fixed and redone. The guys who pulled it all up said it was still wet under there, and if we'd waited much longer we would've started growing mold. NO BUENO. Now we're in a hurry to get the kitchen going. Unfortunately, the kitchen is going to be a MAJOR project. The cabinets all need to be ripped out, which means that the appliances, countertops and floors will all need to be removed as well. So basically, once they start working on it, we will have a dusty disaster of a concrete shell where our kitchen used to be. I'm not looking forward to that. I am, however, looking forward to the new kitchen, because even though we weren't planning on renovating the entire thing, the stuff we picked out is going to look wicked sweet.

Mostly though, I'm excited to get my bathroom back. Also needs new tile, cabinetry and plumbing (since that was the root of all this evil). Michael's been exceedingly patient and generous, letting me use his. I owe him BIG TIME. Once things get going and are a little more settled, I'll post pics of our renovations.

I've been looking for a puse like this one

because I love the stripes and the bow. SO Tim Burtony!!! It would be perfect for fall and stuff. Alas, it's a Lulu Guinness, which means it's €225 (roughly 350 US dollars). Soooo that's not going to happen. But I'm looking for an affordable alternative and if I come up with one, you will be the first to know. Naturally, what will happen, is in about two years vertical black and white stripes will be the trendiest thing ever and they'll be everywhere. Once I'm done needing it NOW. This is always how it is.

Hmm, what am I reading? I'm in the process of my third read of Jane Eyre. I adore that book. It gets better every time you read it. There is so much to say about it...mostly, I love Rochester (even though according to Bronte, he looks like this.). He's the typical Byronic hero. Whereas my last professor who taught Jane Eyre focused on it as a feminist novel, this professor raised an interesting point I hadn't thought of before: the story is equally about Jane and Rochester. While we see the journey from Jane's POV, Rochester is on an equally harsh journey, perhaps even moreso than Jane. While she struggles with personal vs. societal identity, Rochester has to come to terms with who he is, what he's lost, and if there's any hope for regaining himself and his hopes in the future. I really wish there was a Jane Eyre from his POV. It'd be very interesting. Probably moreso than Jane's. Especially when she wanders around the moors, gets "brain fever," and shacks up with her weirdo preacher cousin. While all that's happening, Rochester is battling his CLINICALLY INSANE WIFE IN THE ATTIC and escaping his burning manor home. And pining after Jane, even though he's old enough to be her father. And he gets deformed.

It's SO GOOD. Read it or buy it. Ninety-nine cents. You officially have no excuse.

Short Stories I'd Recommend
This week's list is short because we kind of read a lot of Kafka, and I could never recommend Kafka (if he's your thing, go for it! But I don't care for him and thus, won't rec him). I only have three, but they're good:

1."A Good Man is Hard to Find," by Flannery O'Connor.
In which a judgmental old grandmother ultimately leads her family to their unfortunate demise--ON VACATION. Also, the first line is awesome, but I'm probably biased. They SHOULD have gone to Florida!

2. "A&P" by John Updike.
Updike is probably one of the greatest short story writers ever to live, and this story is pretty clever. I really like how honest it is. Even though the narrator comes off as a stupid, sexist teenaged guy, it's an extremely honest narrative told from said narrator's POV. I liked it.

3. "The Cask of Amontillado," by Edgar Allan Poe.
I mentioned before that "The Lottery" vies for my #1 best short story place. This is the story it competes with. This tale is so utterly Poe-like. The setting, the's loaded with irony and Poe's sick little twisted sense of humor. And per usual, Poe, the master wordsmith, weaves this tale together perfectly. It's chilling and awesome. READ IT NOW.

Sorry I don't have more interesting things to write. That's always a good sign to me that I'm spending too much time looking in and back, and not enough time looking out and around. It's good, these reminders. It's good to get things back into perspective and realize there's a whole, hilarious world out there for us to explore. Why waste it with worries? :)
Rainbow Pictures, Images and Photos

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Helena Bonham Carter is lovely. ♥

I really like Helena Bonham Carter.

It didn't always used to be thus. I used to look at her and be like, "She's so talented, but God love her, she's homely.


I especially like that she likes Tim Burton.

As I've gotten older, I think the thing I like best about her is that she's her own person. She never conforms to what other people tell her. She dresses absurdly, but she always looks more out of place when she wears a "pretty dress" on the red carpet. She routinely wears striped socks, corset belts and a myriad of other pieces I could only ever dream of replicating.

Also, she rides a tricycle. BADASS.

Also, if I ever have a kid, that pram is going on my registry.

One of these things is not like the others...REFRESHINGLY.

She looks cute in short hair...

...and even cuter when she's not trying with it at all (I can relate to a head of hair with a mind of its own).

Overall, I like her. I like her hair that looks like it's on a permanent vacation in Crazytown. I like her crazy cheekbones. I like that she's with Tim Burton. I like her acting roles. I like that she seems smart and independent and doesn't conform to what everyone else expects of her. Mostly, though, I like that she seems perfectly content and comfortable with the choices she's made and who she is.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Just a spoonful of sugar...

I saw this, thought it was beautiful, and wanted to share.

I apologize for the lack of recent posts. Apparently, real life takes TIME. Who knew? I hope you are well, however, Dear Readers, and that you're happy.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

"Art is a daydream."

Freud said the above about his theory on art and artists.

Today in my Practical Criticism class we discussed A Hunger Artist by Franz Kafka.

It was utterly depressing. Although, Kafka may well be the most depressing human being to ever exist. He is even more depressing in my book than Poe. I mean, Poe died alone, drunk, and penniless at the age of 40 due to unknown causes (speculated: alcoholism, drug overdose, meningitis and RABIES), after marrying his 13 year old cousin who, like all the other significant women in his life, died a slow and painful death from tuberculosis. And Kafka is even more depressing than THAT.

Although, if I was a Jew who both survived WWI and successfully predicted the coming of the Holocaust, I might be depressed too.

Anyway, the lecture today was intense. My professor admitted to not really being able to deduce any one clear theme from the story. But what he did get out of it was that the artist must suffer for their art.

He mentioned the above Freud quote, and expounded on it, sharing that Freud believed people indulged in artistic endeavors not to share what was going on inside of them, but rather, as an outward manifestation of an inward desire to escape. What is being escaped is relative to the artist in question: for Kafka, it was his own inadequecy. For Dickinson, it was her lonely, unappreciated life. For Poe, it was the horrors of his own life which he used to make a profit off of in a sensationalized form.

I think this is bullocks. And my professor does, too.

He took a show of hands as to how many kids in the class liked to read as a kid. Like 90% raised their hands. I know I loved to read as a child, and yes, I will admit that it was because I felt safe there. Kids in school picked on me. I've always been kind of a freak. But the books never judged me. Granted, this was all subconscious. Mostly, I just love a good story. And I'd like to think that now, 20 years later, I'm not an English major because I'm trying to escape the mundaneness of my own life. I just enjoy the art form of literature, and personally, want to take MY passion for it and pass it on to other people, especially teenagers who might not even realize that they love reading.

And I don't write to escape my own hideous life. My life, overall, is pretty damn good. When I write, I write because I want to. I write for no audience. I know that there are only like, 3 people who regularly follow this blog. And I still write it anyway, not because I'm miserable or I desire for your attention (though attention is nice). I write this blog because I see and experience so many ridiculous things on a day to day basis and I want to share them, coupled with my POV, with someone. Even if it's just three someones.

You can make the argument that the artist is tortured, that it must be so in order for great art to be produced. But I'd just like to point out that Chaucer and Shakespeare, two of the greatest writers the world has ever known, were both fat and happy guys. I'm pretty sure they didn't mope by candlelight next to a bottle of Jack or Absinthe wiling away the hours, pen in hand, focusing on how much their lives sucked. I feel like this is an absurd stereotype. Are artists odd? Yes. We have to be in order to give our work the perspective that only we have on it. But is it a pre-req to be as miserable as humanly possible? Absolutely NOT.

I'd encourage you guys to be happy and write and paint and do what makes you happy. And don't fall into this swirling vortex of deep dark existentialism and doubt and cynicism. Then you'll just be a bummer to be around. And like Poe and Kafka, you'll probably die young and unnoticed until a friend (or in Poe's case, an enemy) betrays your last wishes and publishes all the manuscripts you wanted burned. Then people will like you, but you'll already be dead. So you won't even know.

PS: Those of you who know my writing and are reading this are probably like, "Omg, Mary is such a hypocrite. She writes the sappiest, lamest, most depressing things." Trufax. Writing is still, in my opinion, an excellent way to get out all the toxic things inside you. This is why I'm so big on journalling. I'm just saying that in order to be famous, you don't have to be so mopey. Even though in today's market you won't get published if someone in your fiction doesn't either have a crisis of faith or identity, or no one gets shot. Just saying. :)

Saturday, September 4, 2010

"I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will."

So, I didn't finish my Fall Fashion Series.


But I will. I just haven't been in the mood. This is why I'm a shite journalist--I only write about what I want to write about when I feel like writing it. Bad for business...but I guess it's a good thing I'm not getting paid for this. =)

Classes have been going well. I'm in a couple of classes I love: Practical Criticism, which is basically just a course in close-reading, and British Authors, which focuses exclusively on Emily and Charlotte Bronte this semester. The class usually focuses on Oscar Wilde (CAN YOU IMAGINE?!?), so I was a little bothered that I missed a semester of Wilde. But I do love the Brontes, so it's not that big of a disappointment.

We've just finished our first novel, The Secret.

It's a series of short stories that Charlotte wrote when she was 14. Here's the deal: the Brontes had a miserable life. There were six originally, but the eldest two sisters died at ages 11 and 10 (due to malnourishment, cold, and horrid diseases contracted at an all-girls boarding school. Jane Eyre, anyone??), which left Branwell (the only son), Charlotte, Emily and Anne. To entertain themselves in the dismal hell-hole that was 19th century Yorkshire, they wrote stories in serialized format, like a magazine. Charlotte and Branwell formed a team, and Emily and Anne formed another team, and then the pairs would switch each week, reading the other set's stories. Which is pretty clever. But anyway, all the stories in The Secret take place in Charlotte's imaginary world of Verdopolis. It's a poorly kept secret that the Bronte's indulged in imaginary play until their mid to late twenties, earning them the label of insane. But Verdopolis is one of those worlds.

Emily and Charlotte were the two who most indulged in their worlds of Verdopolis, Angria and Gondal. As children, they based the characters off a set of twelve toy soldiers that their father bought for Branwell. They wrote the stories on these itty bitty little books the size of MATCHBOXES. INSANE.

The Angria manuscripts to scale. TINY.

Anyway, The Secret was fascinating. Here's the synopsis, per Amazon:

A rollicking adventure from the Bront√ęs’ imagined kingdom of Verdopolis, The Secret is a novel of intrigue, duplicity, and all-conquering love.

Arthur, the Marquis of Douro, his beautiful wife, Marion, and their infant son lead a happy and carefree existence in the city of Verdopolis—until a chance encounter brings the youthful Marchioness’ childhood governess back into their lives. The meeting proves to be the catalyst for an increasingly tortuous series of events involving blackmail, imposture, and shocking revelations regarding the birth of the young Marchioness. Will the Marquis ever forgive his wife her secret?

The synopsis is accurate. It's a great story; very interesting and one of those "whoa, what's going to happen next?" The only place it lacks is character development. However, considering that she was only fourteen, I am blown away by the quality of her writing. Holding it next to the crap I wrote at fourteen makes me look legally retarded. It's extremely interesting, and I'd love to read the rest of the Tales of Angria. She writes her world of Verdopolis and the Glass City with the mastery of myth-makers. She bestows a mythic, legendary, god-like feel to her characters. They become identifiable in the way that Hermes and Hera are (her heroine always wears flowers in her hair and has hazel eyes and a pet dove; the villainess always wears black and red velvet and black plumage in her hair. Even without naming them, the reader recognizes them when they appear.). It's fascinating, and worth a read. It's a quick, easy read too. I think I spent probably an hour and a half total reading the entirety of the book. DEFINITELY recommend it.

The Bronte family, purportedly drawn by Branwell. From L-R: Emily, Charlotte, Branwell and Anne.

Short Stories Read This Semester So Far That I'd Recommend:

1. "A Rose for Emily," by William Faulkner. This is probably my second favorite short story ever written. I LOVE it. It is utterly creeptacular, and so well-written. Also (SPOILER ALERT!), it's about necrophilia, and you don't find that out until the last sentence. AWESOME.

2. "A Jury of Her Peers" by Susan Glaspell. In which men (who are busy doing and accomplishing things) fail to solve the crime because they don't pay attention to things like knitting needles and fruit preserves. Trust: nosy woman neighbors know the deets. Leave it to them, mmkay?

3. "Young Goodman Brown" by Nathaniel Hawthorne. I'm not a Hawthorne fan, but this story about literally and figuratively losing Faith in a devil ritual in the woods of Salem made me think and was generally pretty awesome.

4. "Hills Like White Elephants" by Ernest Hemingway. Epitome of Hemingway's "iceberg" style of storytelling. Spoiler alert: it's about an abortion. Pretty much ingenius.

5. "The Lottery" by Shirley Jackson. Vies for my number one favorite short story spot just because it's SO GOOD and so unexpected. If you read ANY of these stories, READ THIS ONE!!!

That's it. Sorry if you don't like lit and reading. No, I'm not. That's your problem. Read "The Lottery." It might change your mind. :)