Ugh.
You have no idea how many times I've started typing out an "End of Blogging" post--the kind where I'm like, "this blog is going on hiatus for a while" or "I'm not writing anything for a while" or any other pathetic variation on the phrase. But then my heart breaks, because I feel like that's admitting defeat.
I feel like this blog hasn't been an honest place for me to come and write and express and create in AGES. I'm so afraid of offending people or of someone at my place of employment seeing it and finding SOMETHING over which to fire me. I guess that's just the combination of my inherently guilty conscience and learned paranoia. BUT STILL. It sucks because I want to write and say things and be funny and sarcastic without being afraid.
But I am.
So I'm going to work on being a little more honest--in my writing, with myself, with my readers (whoever's left of them...I think my drop off in readership is actually what's helping me, though), and try not to be so afraid that I'm somehow going to get fired from my library job (which is stupid, since this blog is like, 75% book reviews).
And I'll probably treat it more like Tumblr...post a picture, a song, a video, maybe a photo or two, and leave it at that. I just need to revise. And take pressure off myself to create some kind of masterful blog when really, that's not what this is about. I want it to be for me again, without the worry of pleasing, amusing, or offending my readers.
So consider this my diary into which you get some kind of look. Only on the scale of the "inner sanctum," this diary would be on the 2nd ring:
YAY to not being guilty over blogs! YAY for new headers! YAY for change (and not of the penny and nickel variety)! YAY!
