What was actually on the menu at the Star Wars Cantina...

I just wanted to share pics of the food I made assembled for our Star Wars event at the library last Saturday! 

This was our Darth Vader pinata. The girl who won the Wii lightsaber duel (you read that right...she KICKED BUTT) got to smash Vader's head with a lightsaber. Candy was enjoyed by all. 

Yes, our ice machine does have a picture of Vanilla Ice on it. You can thank my boss for that bit of cleverness. 

This was probably my favorite. I used chocolate teddy grahams (for Ewoks), Captain Crunch cereal, Raisinettes, and coconut M&M's (they were the only green ones I could find, even though I searched high and low for mint flavored ones!).

I regret nothing.

This was just watermelon juice and Sprite. Btw, do you know how hard it is to find green juice that isn't either vegetables or Kool-Aid? HARD. 

Because we needed something to balance out all the sugar. 

See? The Oreos have a dark and a light side...like the force! Ahh??

Just animal crackers. 

Couldn't come up with a better name for this...

And finally...

...the dress! 

It was an awesome day. One of those ones where I'm like, "I can't believe I get paid to do this." It was a lot of work, and I was exhausted, but it was totally worth it. 

Now, tomorrow, I get to do our 3rd Annual Princess Tea Party, complete with 200 little girls in princess attire and a menu completely consisting of various forms of sugar. This will be interesting...

The more we waste time on the internet together, the happier we'll be. Cause my links are your links....

I literally haven't done one of these since 2011, so I think we're overdue for some sharing of time-wasting internet things. 

• This is a game where you're a giraffe who has to stretch his neck to give kisses to other giraffes. If that doesn't make you smile, then you probably have no soul. Or you're Voldemort, and have broken your soul into 7 pieces with some seriously dark magic. 
• How women saved Star Trek and are generally awesome at being geeks and not giving two flips. 
• On the topic of boldly going and all that, I think the title of this article does a good job summing this up: Would you sign up to die on Mars? But in other news, GUYS. WE ARE GOING TO LIVE ON OTHER PLANETS. THIS IS LIKE STAR WARS ACTUALLY HAPPENING (so where is my Han Solo?? R2-D2?). Of course we're wrecking it by making it a reality show, which is very Asimov-ian of us, but what'd you expect.
• A good and very relevant article about comparing yourself to others (especially in regards to social media) and how we need to cut it out.
• I don't know if I'd go so far as to say I'm "dating myself," but this article has some good ideas about how to actually enjoy being single. Which seriously, why haven't I written a book on this yet?
• Also, I don't think I need 8 reasons to wear a petticoat, because the word "petticoat" is a good enough reason.
• And finally, this might be the most perfect Tumblr in existence. 

Enjoy! And if you have any cool sites, games, articles, etc. please share in the comments! Because sharing is caring. Except when it comes to herpes. 

Art wars?

My mom was going through some stuff and she found this absolutely horrific piece of fan-art from a very much younger Mary. 

I had to share this piece of artistic prowess with you. 

CLEARLY, this is Jabba the Hutt's palace. I mean, OBVIOUSLY. 

Anyway. The hilarious/sad thing is that if I tried to do this now, it would probably only look marginally better than this. I haven't grown much artistically speaking. 

Sooo, in my internet exploration yesterday, I discovered that you can buy (cheap!) yoga mats from CafePress. And I wanted to share my favorites, because sharing is caring. 

Sassypants Betsey Johnson-esque leopard:

 Two koi (which I liked since I'm a Pisces):

 Classical nature print:

 Edgar Allan Poe Yoga!!!

 Some pretty scroll-looking design:

Shakespearean insults:  

 Pink Trekkie:

 Water:

And this one, which I made and ordered ($16 is SOOO worth a Jedi yoga mat), because yoga is basically Jedi-training without lightsabers:

This one was my favorite, but a) it was $55 on Etsy, and b) it's sold out! =(

I think my Force mat is a good substitute. :) 

(Oh my god, I think my nerdiness just reached a whole new level.)

GPOY.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

I was thinking about the opening credits of movies, and how that's not really a "thing" anymore. They used to run all the credits at the beginning of a movie in the "olden days," but now, not so much. Then this led me to think about my favorite opening credit sequences. So here, I'm sharing (because sharing is caring). 

1. Napoleon Dynamite

I love this sequence. I love all the food and textures and colors. This is definitely one of my all-time favorite opening credits. 

2. Phantom of the Opera

Even though there are no actual credits, this opening scene is mind-blowing. I got chills when I saw it in theaters and still get shivers watching it now. 

3. Edward Scissorhands

All of the Elfman/Burton credit sequences are pretty amazing, but I think this one is my favorite (possible other contender is Corpse Bride. "This is Halloween" would win hands-down, except there's no actual credits). I love how very Burton it is. And the music, of course, is stellar. It's just very indicative of their styles, and the movie is brilliant, too.

4. Mary Poppins

First of all, this is just a very musically sound overture. Musically, I like it a lot. But what I really love is the aerial view of Edwardian England. Plus, there's that sassy break in the middle where Mary Poppins is like, "Bitch, I might powder my nose on a cloud if I feel like it, YOU JUST TRY AND STOP ME." 

5. Bedknobs and Broomsticks

Again, this is a musically awesome opening sequence. But I also love how they went with the Medieval tapestry theme. Also, this movie is just great. 

6. Naked Gun

It makes no sense, but then, neither does the movie. It is funny though.

7. A Hard Day's Night

John, Paul, George, and Ringo star in what is, essentially, the first music video. Need I say more?

8. Babe

I couldn't find an embed-able version, so you'll have to follow the link: Babe Opening Credits

But it's cute because the artwork moves, and it's a cute little rendition of Saint-Saëns' Organ Symphony No. 3, Maestoso Allegro, which is a freaking outstanding piece of classical music. 

9. Star Wars

COME ON, if I didn't put this in you'd be like, "Who killed Mary and hacked her blog?" It's a classic, and it's still timelessly awesome, don't even play.

I realize my list is probably very amateur, but I chose only movies I've actually seen. What would be your favorite opening credit sequence?

Who's scruffy lookin'?

I own more Star Wars shirts than anyone who isn't a) George Lucas, or b) a 7 year old boy has any right to. 

-Yoda

"She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts."

There comes a time when all good cars must go on to the great Junkyard in the Sky. They've served us well, they've served their purpose, and they've lived a good car life. 

My blue car reached that point last weekend. 

It was so sad. That was my first car. It hauled me through the end of high school, all through college, and almost the entire first year of my "working, adult life." I would still, even recently, get a thrill driving it and being like, "Wow, it's my car." And I was stubborn to admit it was dying, because it was paid for. That's like, a GOLDMINE when you're working and making *insert pitiful number here*. But it was time. It was BEYOND noisy. We took it to the mechanic, and we were like, "Drive it and see what you think." He came back and he's like, "No way in hell would any girlfriend of mine drive that car on the highway." It was doing okay around town, but when I had to get on the interstates to go to work, it made a cacophony of almighty noises in all pitches and tones imaginable. I've had people tell me it was "like a tank," and "a rattlebox," and a car Big Joe Turner would like because it shakes, rattles and rolls. Nice. 

Lately, though, it wasn't just loud. It was...unsafe. It broke down on the highway and suffered quite a few more not-as-major-but-equally-scary issues. It got to the point where I was literally like: 

I may or may not be guilty of uttering those exact words. 

And other people, when I drove them, would be like:

And then I'd be like: 

because that was my baby! But secretly I knew they were right. The time had come. And the trip to the mechanic just confirmed it.

So today, I watched them take it back and I didn't see it again. And I will neither confirm nor deny that I teared up.

BUT.

I went over to a nearby dealer because their website had a few great cars that I'd been looking at once we'd gotten the news that repairs on the Neon would cost more than the worth of the car. I fell in love immediately with one, a Toyota Avalon, because it's kind of like a granny-pimp car. It's an older car, but it's a lot better quality (older and better quality...kind of how I like my men. Or how I would like my men if I had them. *_~). Low mileage, within my price range...perfect.

It sold last night. And I died a small death inside when my mom told me this afternoon.

BUT!!! The person who wanted it didn't get their credit approved, so it was available to me today. I drove it and just knew. It's like when you go to the pet store and you know which dog is going to be your companion for the next 15 years. It was just that feeling of "this is right." So I didn't bother driving any other cars on the lot, and everything flew without a hitch.

So let me introduce to you....my new vehicle.

It's SO POSH. I mean, a tractor might be posh next to what I'd been driving before, but it's got everything. I don't want to brag about features and stuff (I also don't want someone to figure out where I live and come steal it...yes, I really am that paranoid, deal with it), but suffice to say it's awesome. Literally the only problem is that split in the leather on the console, which should be an easy fix. And even if it's not, PUH-LEASE. I can deal with that.

SO EXCITED! I feel like I have a "grown up" car. And I did all the paperwork and everything myself, so I think I get Grown Up Points for that. 

HOORAY! SO VERY EXCITED!!!! 

Until the payments start coming in. Then I'll be reminded that, oh yeah, I'm poor. *_~

Gift Ideas Under $50 for Certain People But Probably Not Everyone.

Hey, all!

I thought I'd do a collection of some unique and quirky Christmas gift ideas I've found and center them around a few of the different types of people on your list. And here's the best part: they're all under $50! Sorry I didn't get this up sooner, but a lot of these places ARE guaranteeing Christmastime shipping! So act soon!

Without further ado, Christmas present ideas for....



The Geek/Internet Addict


(1. Big Bang Theory Shirt, 2. LOL Magnetz, 3. Tumblr Sticker, 4. Nyan Cat Earrings, 5. Geeky Dreamboats Book, 6. Robot Unicorn Attack Shirt.)

Lol, this one is just fun stuff! I hate the video, but I love the Nyan Cat earrings...they're so unique. I thought the "Everyday I'm Tumblin'" sticker was super clever for the Tumblr addict on your list, and I especially love the lol magnets. I WILL have them if/when I ever move out.
Also: BAZINGA.






Animal Lover


(1. Hidden Owl Teacup,2. Elk Necklace, 3. Fox Slippers, 4. Woodland Animals Ring Set, 5. DIY Dog Biscuits, 6. Owl Earrings, 7. Animal Calendars.)

I like everything in this set, but the owl earrings are my favorites. I also really like the set of 3 rings. You get a fox, a deer, and an owl! So cute!
The Bake Your Own Dog Treats are an awesome idea, even for men. This is especially true if you know a couple with a dog. And the fox slippers, which are adorable, are actually for guys! So there are a couple guy-ish things there, too, which is awesome. GUYS CAN LIKE THE FLUFFY ANIMALS, TOO.




Girlie-Girl



(1. Rudolph Chapstick, 2. Pink Cuckoo Clock, 3. Sephora Perfume Sampler, 4. Hello Kitty USB, 5. Cupcake Dental Floss, 6. Betsey Johnson Slippers.)

Okay, this is the section with the best deals (in my opinion, but it's my blog so my opinion is really the only one that counts). The Sephora perfume sampler is so cool! It comes with sample sizes of the company's best-selling fragrances of the year, along with a reusable atomizer. AND, the best part is, you get a voucher for one full-size perfume to redeem later, so she can pick which perfume she likes best and then get the big size! It's so worth $50, especially if you have a perfume addict BFF or girlfriend.
I also love the Betsey Johnson slippers, and the Rudolph lip balm would make
a great set of stocking stuffers!

Also, cupcake-flavored floss exists. The end.



Jedi


(1. Family Guy Blue Harvest Trilogy, 2. The Jedi Path Book, 3. Epic T-Shirt, 4. Han Solo Ice Cube Trays, 5. How to Speak Wookie, 6. Star Wars Purse, 7. Christmas Plushies, 8. Droid USB's.)

This one's obviously near and dear to my heart. I wanted to find some things that weren't your everyday Star Wars merch. I think the Han Solo ice tray is AWESOME, and they also have an R2-D2 one! As shown, you can use them for more than jut ice, so YAY. I also really want to get the Jedi Path book at some point, just because it's STAR WARS and BOOK all in one. Also, I want to be a Jedi. There are so many Star Wars t-shirts in existence it's not even funny. Seriously, if you're looking for one, utilize the internet! ThinkGeek, Etsy, Hot Topic and 80's Tees are phenomenal places to look. And for the Star Wars nerd who has everything, the Family Guy trilogy is hilarious. Just saying.




Student


(1. Predict-a-Pen, 2. Caffeinated Cocoa, 3. F in Exams Book, 4. Snarky Journal, 5. Old School Pencil Case, 6. WTF Sticky Notes.)

I thought this would be a cute idea for younger siblings, those people in sororities that you adopt as a non-biological sibling, or anyone who's in high school or college. I had no idea that you could add CAFFEINE to hot chocolate, but whoever invented this deserves a prize. Also, the Predict-a-Pen is like a Magic 8 Ball you can write with! And then, you can put it in a sweet vintagey pencil case (which could easily be swapped out for Lisa Frank or something for girls). Top it off with the WTF sticky notes (one of my personal fav items) and one of the snarky Mental Floss notebooks, and you're good to go!



Hope this was marginally helpful, or at least entertaining. You've got 5 DAYS until Christmas. Make the most of them!

Maj preesh.

Here are 3 things that I like/appreciate right now.

1. Deals

Can we all just take a minute to appreciate bargain shopping? That sweet moment when you realize that thing you wanted is now SIGNIFICANTLY cheaper than it was originally? Awesomesauce.

2. Dry Shampoo

I love this one from Suave because a) it's only like $3, and b) it doesn't spray out like liquid flour into your hair. It's not actually powdery at all, really. So I'm not sure how it works but I LOVE it because it adds volume to the roots. And for whatever reason, since exiting puberty (ahh, that lovely time of one's life), my hair's gotten pretty straight and flat. Just on its own. I have NO idea what happened (maybe cutting it short defeated its spirit. Sad day). Either way, this stuff is awesome, especially if you backcomb/tease the roots after spraying it on. SUPER VOLUME! It's epic.

3. This image:



That is all. :)

Alas poor Yorick, I knew him well.

I have to apologize for the absolutely abysmal quality of this blog lately. Like, it sucks. I don't even know why anyone would want to read it. I don't want to read it, and I write it. Blah.

I just really don't feel like I have anything cool or interesting to report! People are like, "Oh hey! What's new with you?" and I'm like, "Nothing." Really, NOTHING. I go to class, I do my homework, I read inordinate amounts of words the volume of which humans were probably never meant to ingest, and I mess around helping around the house and doing crap with Bixby. Like, that's IT.

Not that I'm miserable about it or anything. I feel pretty good about my life. It's just highly unpublishable.

I honestly feel like it's the calm before the storm. In a matter of less than 12 weeks, I'll be, for the first time in my life, well and truly DONE with school. It's like the lightsaber fight between Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker in Return of the Jedi.
Everything in my life has led up to that point, so wtf am I supposed to do when it's done? I imagine I'll have many whiny, Hamlet-esque posts at that point about "WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF LIFE??" and such things (I might even procure a skull and name him "Yorick" for such times).

So although things are dull as toast right now (an unfair simile in my opinion, since toast is delish, especially with Nutella), it's okay with me. I just feel terrible because it makes for heinous blog reading. So bear with me and my lame posts about Conan O'Brien and Harry Potter and stuff. I promise I'm working on ideas of things to write about which might be amusing in the slightest. I'm open to suggestions too, of course.
:)

A long time ago...

When I was a kid, my parents got me "From Star Wars to Jedi: The Making of a Saga," and it's basically a behind-the-scenes film on Star Wars. It focuses on Return of the Jedi (which was my favorite as a kid due to Jabba's Palace and the Ewoks), but you get a pretty good look at some of the scenes and ideas from the entire trilogy.

I watched this thing INCESSANTLY. Of course, it was on VHS, so eventually all the tapes unwound. So I'd sit there and meticulously try to rewind them so I could watch it again. And the cardboard box it came in was completely beat up from overuse, a few puppies, and a long life in general. But it was SUCH a great thing. It changed my third grade life.

I FOUND IT ON YOUTUBE AND WANT TO SHARE IT WITH YOU! SCRAGGLY STRIPS OF TAPE NOT INCLUDED!
(Yes, that's Mark Hamill narrating. Yes, it's before the "remastered" versions. Yes, it's incredibly grainy. DEAL WITH IT.)



"Puppet maker" for a movie like Star Wars remains on my list of dream jobs.

Not on my list of dream jobs? Being INSIDE Jabba the Hutt.


I'm not going to post anymore on here, but if you want to finish it, you can watch it on Youtube.

Star Wars geeks fans of the world, REJOICE!
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

"It looks like I'm going nowhere. I have to finish cleaning those droids."

You know the conversation Luke has with Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru right before this fabulous 70's-emo scene with the twin suns and the incredible orchestra? About how he wants to go to the academy, and all his friends are gone because they're either there or involved with the war, and Uncle Owen tells him he can't go because he's needed for the harvest? And then Luke gets all angsty and goes and has that moment with the suns? I used to religiously make fun of this scene, because it's so angsty.

I will never laugh at this scene again.


Due to unforeseen circumstances (namely involving the epic failwad that is Bright Futures), I won't be finishing college this summer. I'm taking one class now over the summer, and I'll finish the other four in the fall. Which means I will graduate in December.

As of right now, I'm taking my Evolution of Video Games class because a) it's the only class I had this summer that actually meets and b) it's interesting and fun and nerdgasmic. I will also be attempting to regain my job at Plato's to fill the intervening time and save up some money, so that HOPEFULLY I can still manage to get my own place in a relatively timely manner.



TL;DR: I'm graduating in December, not August.

"I love you.".... "I know."

My beautifully awesome dear friend and Glampirate
sent these my way and I couldn't help but share them with you. TOO FUNNY:




Click here for 4 more!

And once again, Happy Valentine's Day to all my beautiful readers. ♥