Great White Snark: June 2011

Thursday, June 30, 2011


I would just like to say that I'm super excited because as of Friday, something a little magical is gonna be going down here in the Sea of Snark.

That is all.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011



That was a completely useless exercise. Turns out I'm not even angry enough at the world to delete my Facebook for a whole week.

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Gratuitous picture of my life.

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if you're so inclined (I do love me some snotty young Malfoy).

Anyway, whatever, I'm back on Facebook. YOU CAN ALL START READING MY BLOG AGAIN.

Sunday, June 26, 2011


I've never done a "What's in My Bag" post, but I love being a creepy voyeur looking at what's in other people's bags, and thought I'd do one here.

1. Bag from Old Navy. It's cheap, cute, and holds everything!
2. Dooney and Bourke wallet, courtesy of Plato's
3. Adorable pencil case (got it at Borders) where I'm keeping all my cosmetics since the tote has no interior pockets (inside: hand sanitizer, ELF oil blotting sheets, NYC pressed powder, Origins lipgloss, Milani lipgloss, and Burt's)
4. My gym card
5. Gameboy Advance (currently playing Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)
6. Juicy Couture coin purse. I use it to hold all my stupid rewards cards and gift cards.
7. Pill box
8. Compact hairbrush
9. Hand lotion (from the Flaunt line at Icing)
10. Fan from San Juan. It was HOT in church this morning!
11. 5 Gum
12. Notepad
13. Sharpie
14. Ballpoint pen

I usually have my Nook in there, too, but I was reading it earlier. :) So that's that!

Also, I miss Facebook and will be back before the week is out. I'm glad I took a small break though. When I get back on there, I'll just do a good clean out of my friends list. Also, my blog readership has plummeted to depressing levels now that I'm not on there anymore, which is probably the #1 reason I'll be back so soon.

It's good to know I have principles and can stick to them.
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Oh, PS:

RIP, Peter Falk, aka: Columbo and the Grandpa from The Princess Bride.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Somewhere a band is playing.

-Ray Bradbury

I just finished reading Bradbury's novella Somewhere a Band is Playing. It only took me about 50 minutes to finish, but boy, was it worth it. I loved Bradbury for his science fiction, but this wasn't exactly sci-fi. It was completely strange, but beautiful. Like Vonnegut but without the humor. Also, I chose the pic of Spectre because the whole thing just reminded me SO MUCH of Big Fish. I highly recommend it to lit people. My math and science and logical friends would abhor it.

In other news, my Mom's been converting all of our old VHS tapes to DVD's. And may I just say: it is a DARN good thing my parents did not leave me as an only child or I would have been a MENACE to society. All the worst aspects of my personality manifested themselves in three year old pre-Michael me. It's pretty appalling. But hilarious at the same time.

Also, kudos to my parents for coming up with an extremely creative story as to why Santa Claus couldn't bring me a "magical horse" for Christmas. Apparently this was the only thing I wanted. But I wanted a REAL magical horse. Some things absolutely never change.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

It's not you, Facebook, it's me.

I'm taking an indefinite leave of absence from Facebook. There's really no reason other than I'm just bored of the information overload. And I pretty much only talk to like, 10 people, so they can email me.
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Also, this. ^

And EVERYONE is welcome to my blog. So just leave comments or something if you're having Mary withdrawals. It's trying, I know.

I'll be moving my status-like updates to Twitter, so you should get an account if you don't already have one. Even though I hate mine. Whatever. It's the PRINCIPLE of the thing. Follow me @eatdrink_bemary. Email me at if you need to get a hold of me--that's probably the best way.

But mostly I'll be lurking around here in the Sea of Snark. :)

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Super 8

I hate feeling like my blog is becoming a place where all I do is talk about crap like TV shows, books, and movies I like. I especially dislike it when I'm all bossy and like, "GO SEE THIS RIGHT NOW OMG."

So I'll keep it short. ;)

Today, I saw Super 8. I was pleasantly surprised! It was actually a really good, solid piece of moviemaking and sci-fi. It was like...E.T./Lost/Signs/War of the Worlds. Which isn't a too-shabby mix. Plus, it was carried really well by a cast of KIDS. With kids, you tend to get a lot of overacting and, especially in scary movies, a ton of obnoxious child-shrieking. But there was little shrieking. Or at least, it wasn't obnoxious. And they were SUCH good actors. My mind was probably more blown by how strong the cast was than by any of the special effects or anything.

It was quite suspenseful and tense in that Abrams-"Lost" way. And it had a very Spielberg feel (think "Jurassic Park" and "E.T."). So if you like either of those two guys, aliens, or good sci-fi stories, it's definitely worth seeing.

Oh also, JJ Abrams: YOUR LENS FLARES, OMG. It's like DARK and there are lens flares. It was SUPER noticeable in "Star Trek", so I was loling when it showed up here too.

JJ Abrams Lens Flare Pictures, Images and Photos

Monday, June 20, 2011

It's on like Donkey Kong.

So those of you who know me know that if it's put into a documentary, I will watch it. I just have this thing about well done documentaries. I'm crazy about them. So imagine my pleasure when, last week in my Evolution of Video Games class, we spent the entire class period watching A DOCUMENTARY.

It's called, "The King of Kong: A Fistfull of Quarters." It's basically about the guy who set the world record for arcade Donkey Kong back in 1982 and how he's being challenged by a sweet nobody from Washington State. And the nobody guy, Steve Weibe, is GOOD. He plays his games up to a million points (Billy's high score was 800,000 something). And even though he CAN do this and has proven it time and time again, the video game community just REFUSES to recognize his records. It's sad, but awesome.
When it first started I was like
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Then I was like

And at the end I was like

It's like "Trekkies" in that it opens your eyes up to this world that you didn't even know existed. And to those people, it IS the whole world.
I LOVE stuff like that.

I got it for my dad for Father's Day, and if you have a dad or a boyfriend or brother who's into video games, I'd say it's a pretty safe bet as far as presents go. And it was $5.99 at Barnes & Noble. BEAT THAT.

Anyway, just wanted to share with you guys. Not much else is new with me at this point. Just plunking along.

Maybe I should attempt to beat a video game world record. HMMM...

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Friday, June 17, 2011

"One touch of nature makes the whole world kin."

BLARGH! I haven't done a "Link Me Up, Scotty" post in AGES. And I was cleaning out my internets when I found that I have a BUTTLOAD saved and ready to post. So here you go!

-Here is a blog dedicated to 1000 Awesome Things. It's just cool to look at it and remember GOOD things, especially when you're having a crummy day. Kind of reperspectionizes (I'm like GW Bush making up words!) things.
-Pics of some totally awesome treehouses. Pandering to the 5 year old adventurer in all of us.
-32 Ways to Make Someone Happy, which is a cool list and a good reminder to get our heads out of our own asses and remember that there are 6 point-something billion other human beings on the planet.
-For people like me who either seem to be too early or too late and never exactly on trend, don't worry. Laver's Law of Fashion explains that sometimes, it's okay to be a little early or way late to the fashion party.
-This kind of would've been apt to post at the end of my Favorite High School Movies post, but alas, I guess I'll do it now. Here's a list of 5 Life Lessons from High School Movies. On that note...why wasn't "The Breakfast Club" on my list?!? IT SHOULD BE.
-And lastly, for you macabre sickos who read my blog (*_~), a short list of Famous Last Words. Poor James Joyce...NOBODY UNDERSTANDS HIM.

;) Enjoy, Readers!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

“Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.”

This post is about my best friend, Bethany, and the fact that I'm happy we've been friends since we were like, 15.

We've been to a couple formal things together (we like to unintentionally match)...

We will always take our best picture ourselves (you know, the arm-stretched-out-myspace-self-portrait kind).

And when we take pics, I will almost always be on the right and she will be on the left (but to you looking at the pic, it's reversed. VISION FTW.). It's also nice that we're not in our awkward puberty phases anymore. ;)

And the more things change, the more things stay the same. Like, I will wear skirts to the beach (because for whatever reason, my messed up mind thinks this is LOGICAL) and Beth will wear capris. And the beach will always be our favorite place to go.

I have bazillions more photos, but these ones just highlight that even though we've grown older, we haven't really grown apart. Which is pretty awesome. And she's pretty awesome. It's okay to be jealous.

I'm sad because she lives 4 hours away now, but we talk almost every night and try to see each other as much as possible. Also, she's studying to be a Physician's Assistant, which means that she a) works her butt off, b) is smarter than I am and probably smarter than you too, and c) will end up saving lives like the heroic BAMF that she is. She's a really hard worker and the best studier I know and so whenever I feel useless and unmotivated, I think of her and how persevering and hard working she is. I think that friends should inspire you, and if they don't you probably don't need them.

So even though I miss her, it's okay.

Friend quotes           walk beside
TL;DR: I have a best friend and I miss her and she's cool.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Sex and love and MAGIC.

When everyone's all excited about their hot sex lives and hot sexy dance parties:

And I react like:
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Thursday, June 9, 2011

"We must march my darlings, we must bear the brunt of danger, We the youthful sinewy races, all the rest on us depend..."

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My Mom and I came across a really cool website/organization called It's such an incredible thing that I had to share it with you guys.

Basically, it's an organization wherein the troops can write in and request things that they need--and you'd be surprised with how little they've actually been provided. It's really neat, too, because you can give them your email address and they'll send you letters and photos and stuff if they have the time and capability. All branches of the military can write in (Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force and Coast Guard) and you can search for a troop to support using all sorts of criteria--where the troop is originally from (my Mom was insistent her group be from Florida), if they have women/men/both, what branch of the military, what they need (ie: books, hygiene products, etc.). It's pretty cool.

It's also really, really eye-opening. You know that life is going to be hard in the military, but what you don't expect is for these people to be requesting basic things like food, socks, tampons (SRSLY?? NO ONE GIVES YOU THESE??), razors, etc. These are all the things that we here just take for granted, and they have to go for MILES through land mines and sandstorms to get to their PX (the general store on bases), and even if they do go oftentimes these items are either way expensive or unavailable.
{I'm not even joking about the sandstorms and land mines. Those are legit from letters I read this morning.}

Some of the troops are 1000 strong and living in a relatively decent base with electricity, the capability to cook, televisions, etc. Others are literally three people living in a hummer and crossing the desert (I read one such letter today). It's just really...I don't know. It kind of leaves you speechless. It's certainly humbling to realize that these people are living worse off than my guinea pig, and I owe everything that I enjoy to them.

All this to say: PLEASE check out the website. Also, I'm going to have an ongoing box to fill up with stuff gradually. If you have ANYTHING you can or want to contribute, please let me know in the comments and I'll hook you up with my email address. I'll even come pick it up from you. Just please don't hesitate to let me know if you have anything you're willing to send over there.

Commonly requested items:
-Deodorant (men and women)
-Body spray (women)
-Dryer sheets
-Snacks such as dried fruit, nuts, crackers (like Goldfish and Cheezits), microwave popcorn (for those with a micro) and non-meltable candy (gummy bears, Twizzlers, etc.)
-"Feminine products" (we all know what this means)
-Gold Bond or baby powder
-Socks (the high kind...they wear boots)
-T-shirts in all sizes
-Card games (like Phase 10 or Uno)
-Stationery and envelopes
-Chap stick

Even if you guys have like A bag of popcorn, or a travel size body lotion you've used once, or a bag of razors you never opened...let me know. I'd be more than happy to come and grab it from you to throw in a box.

The other most HIGHLY requested thing is letters--they LOVE letters more than anything else. So even if you can't afford to spare any physical items, PLEASE consider getting an address and just sending some letters to these people. Or write a letter and let me know if you want me to send it over.

Anyway, this is kind of a big deal and I really think you should at least consider doing something for our troops (especially with the 4th of July coming up. COME ON.). As I've mentioned before, PLEASE comment if you have any questions, comments, or things to donate and I will get in touch with you. Thanks, generous readers!
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Tuesday, June 7, 2011

A long time ago...

When I was a kid, my parents got me "From Star Wars to Jedi: The Making of a Saga," and it's basically a behind-the-scenes film on Star Wars. It focuses on Return of the Jedi (which was my favorite as a kid due to Jabba's Palace and the Ewoks), but you get a pretty good look at some of the scenes and ideas from the entire trilogy.

I watched this thing INCESSANTLY. Of course, it was on VHS, so eventually all the tapes unwound. So I'd sit there and meticulously try to rewind them so I could watch it again. And the cardboard box it came in was completely beat up from overuse, a few puppies, and a long life in general. But it was SUCH a great thing. It changed my third grade life.

(Yes, that's Mark Hamill narrating. Yes, it's before the "remastered" versions. Yes, it's incredibly grainy. DEAL WITH IT.)
Deal with it Pictures, Images and Photos

"Puppet maker" for a movie like Star Wars remains on my list of dream jobs.

Not on my list of dream jobs? Being INSIDE Jabba the Hutt.

I'm not going to post anymore on here, but if you want to finish it, you can watch it on Youtube.

Star Wars geeks fans of the world, REJOICE!

Friday, June 3, 2011

Classical is FANTASTICAL!

So after my last post, it was requested that I do a Top 10 Classical Music Songs post (that song would have been on here, btw). And of course, who am I to deny my readers what they desire?? So without any further ado, I present
The GWS's Top 10 Classical Music Songs (In No Particular Order)

1. "Tristes Apprêts Pâles Flambeaux" by Jean-Philippe Rameau (1773)

This is from Rameau's opera Castor et Pollux, and while I think I could do a whole post on my Top 10 Opera songs, I won't. But this one had to make the list. It is so tragic and beautiful and well-composed. Also, Rameau was like a rebel. He used a lot of different harmonies and dissonance and caused quite the stir. Furthermore, Italian opera was the thing (if you've seen Amadeus you know this was kind of a big deal). Anyway, really great piece and a good way to ease into opera. Also it was in Marie Antoinette which gives it street cred.

2. "Concerto for Harp & Strings in C - III. Allegro Agitato" by Francois Boieldieu (1795)

This mofo was TWENTY when he composed this. OMG. That makes me feel like such a waste of space. But this is a beautiful piece, my favorite for harp, I think, as it showcases what a versatile instrument it is. Anyway, it's really pretty and I like it.

3. Beethoven's 7th Symphony, 2nd Movement "Allegretto" (1811)

Beethoven is the ultimate BAMF. He wrote this piece while he was freaking DEAF. YOU TRY AND BEAT THAT. This piece is the one (in addition to one other, also on this list...) that when I hear, makes me want to stop everything and just listen. It just soaks into you, into every fiber of your being. It's often hailed as one of Beethoven's finest compositions (even he agreed), and is touted as one of the most emotionally stirring and inspirational pieces in classical music. I agree. {Also, it's in the movies The Knowing and The King's Speech, but that's not why you should like it.}

4. Mozart's "Requiem: Confutatis" (1791)

WATCH Amadeus. END OF STORY. This song will give you chills, as if it doesn't already, if you know the context behind it (highly stylized context, mind you, but context nonetheless).
Mozart wrote it while on his deathbed (he died before its completion), so super ironic because it's a Requiem mass (his wife claimed after his death he wrote it for himself. CREEPTACULAR!). Also the translation is rich. Look it up. SO GOOD.

5. Aquarium from "Carnival of the Animals" by Camille Saint-Saëns (1886)

Familiar? Alan Menken was highly influenced by this piece when writing the soundtrack to Beauty and the Beast (listen to "The West Wing" if you don't believe it). Saint-Saëns is pretty amazing...anything by him probably won't disappoint. Which leads me to my next song...

6. Allegro (from Symphony No. 3 'Organ') by Camille Saint-Saëns (1886)

Yay! I love this piece. Anything with the pipe organ I kind of tend to be partial towards, but this is just such a complex and amazing piece. Also, if it's familiar to you, it was the theme song from the movie Babe. Yes, as in the pig.

7. "Danse Macabre" by Camille Saint-Saëns (1874)

Any song that opens with a chord known as "the Devil's chord" is gonna be worth listening to, right? ;) Per Wikipedia: "According to legend, "Death" appears at midnight every year on Halloween. Death calls forth the dead from their graves to dance their dance of death for him while he plays his fiddle...His skeletons dance for him until the rooster crows at dawn, when they must return to their graves until the next year." And you wonder why I like this song?

8. "Intermezzo Sinfonico" from Cavalleria Rusticana, by Pietro Mascagni (1890)

I've been enamored with this song ever since we played it in band in high school. Needless to say, it did NOT sound like that. But it's a gorgeous piece. It sounds all lovey-dovey to me. Which I like when it sounds like this.

9. "Fantasia on a Theme by Thomas Tallis" by Ralph Vaughan Williams (aka: "The Vaughan Williams Fantasia")(1910)

This is the other classical piece, apart from Beethoven's 7th, that makes me stop in my tracks to listen. It gives me chills, it has moved me to's just an incredible piece of music. One of humanity's best contributions to the arts and the universe in general. Also, it's in that super sad scene from Master and Commander where the guy goes overboard. Anyway, it vies for my #1 favorite piece spot. It's just amazing.

10. This just makes me feel like a tool, but I don't know what this song is!

It's gorgeous, and I listen to it loads. I'm not even sure how it got in my iTunes, but if any of you can ID it (isn't there an iPhone app for that??), I would be GREATLY obliged. I'll even mention you here. Or I'll do a post on whatever you want. Or I'll bless a baby. Just help me out here!

{ETA: THE TUBAMAN FOUND IT. It's a piece called "Recercada," originally written by Spanish Renaissance composer Diego Ortiz, and performed by Emilie Autumn. MAKE SURE you check out his Deviantart page (as if his Youtube isn't enough talent for you). He's one to watch AND he has good taste in music! YAY, THANK YOU!!!}

Anyway, that's my list! Hope you enjoyed. I tried to pick songs that weren't blatantly obvious aka: I'm a classical music hipster.
^^And that's TERRIBLE.

Honorable mentions:
Toccata and Fugue in D Minor, Bach
Concerto in G, Vivaldi (ANYTHING by Vivaldi for that matter)
Symphony 40 in G Minor, Mozart
Moonlight Sonata, Beethoven
The Ode to Joy from Beethoven's 9th, Beethoven (this is the one that apparently when it ended, the applause was uproarious but Beethoven was totally deaf, so they had to turn him around when he finished conducting so he could see it. He wept.)
In the Hall of the Mountain King, Grieg. GET THIS ONE. IT SHOULD BE ON THAT LIST.

Anyway, hope you all enjoyed. Have a fav that didn't make the list? Let me know in the comments! I'm always looking to expand my music library. :)

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Through literacy you can begin to see the universe. Through music you can reach anybody. Between the two there is you, unstoppable.

I find classical music to be like indie music--it's hard to break into unless you know someone who can point you in the right direction. So I'm stepping in to share one of my all time favorite compositions with you (even though it's not at all from the Classical era in gets lumped in there).

Ignore this weird pic of the sun. This song doesn't remind me of the sun AT ALL.

It's "Alleluia and Fugue" by Alan Hovhaness. Every time I hear this song I wonder why it hasn't been in 10 thousand soundtracks.

Anyway, add that to your music library. It won't disappoint.

And for your time, here's some Words of Wisdom from one Colin Firth.