"Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world."

Thankful List

• Topping the list this year is my job. First of all, I'm glad I even have a job. Secondly, this time last year, I was worried I was going to be a secretary forever, and actually cried (tears of joy) when one of my co-workers came up to me to discuss The Secret Garden which she had recently read. I realized then (more than ever) that I needed to be working among books and with other bookish people. God heard my prayers and placed me in a job that's perfect for me, and with people I really enjoy. I'm so grateful that the Director decided to take a chance on "the coupon girl with no experience." It's changed my life!
• I'm grateful for my family, who are wonderful. Especially my Mom, who no matter what life throws at her deals with it gracefully and with dignity, and no matter how hard her own battles are, touches everyone she meets and knows with kindness and generosity. I'm grateful for my Dad, who's not only brilliant, hard-working, and generally the best guy I know, but for giving me impossibly high standards when it comes to dating guys, because I know what the best is, and won't settle for less. And for Michael, who is such a hard worker, is so smart it actually makes me sick, and is, comparatively speaking, a really good kid and great brother. 
• I'm grateful for my mom's older sister who's really stepped up and helped us out this holiday season. And for my paternal grandmother, who's like the glue who holds us all together and is always welcoming and awesome. I'm also grateful that as my cousins and I move towards adulthood, we're able to reconnect in a way we couldn't when we were little kids with years between us. Being five years older is the difference between kindergarten and 5th grade when you're little. When you're older, it totally doesn't matter anymore. 
• I'm grateful that I have a heavenly Father who loves me and forgives me, and doesn't expect me to be perfect. He just wants me to be me. 
• I'm grateful for America, and even though our we're facing difficulty, we still live in the greatest country in the world. (Mostly because I get to have a blog where I can talk about God and government and not have to worry about getting shot for it. *_~)
• I'm grateful for Bixby, Sherman, and all the animals we're blessed with on this planet, both wild and domesticated. Seriously, animals are great. ALL of them. But especially pugs and manatees and narwhals.
• I'm grateful for being relatively healthy, asthma and monthly colds aside (which are due, mostly, to the fact that I work with children, who are well-recognized germ bags. Adorable and hilarious, but germ bags nonetheless). 
• I'm actually grateful that I'm strong enough to be single in a society which tells me that I'm worthless if I don't have a guy at my side or a ring on my finger. I'd rather be happy, like I am now, and single than stuck with somebody I can't stand. 
• I'm grateful for all my friends and acquaintances, even if we just talk on Facebook, because you make me feel loved and not as weird as I think I am in my head. But I'm especially grateful for Bethany, because we met when we were 15 and we'll both be 25 this year, which means she's been my bestie for 10 years. It's really nice to have someone grow up beside you, and know all your stories so you don't have to explain it all to them. Actually, she could probably finish all my stories for me with better accuracy than I could. 
• I'm grateful for books, literacy, and imagination.
• Food. Enough said. 

I know I've missed a lot, because I have so much for which to be grateful. Thank you, if you're reading this, for being here and being awesome. And Happy Thanksgiving!

(Or, as they say in the south with the emphasis on "thanks" and no "g" at the end, THANKSgivin'!)

Happy Wear Your Lingerie in Public Day!

Sad, but so true. 

Just wanted to share some Hallow-snark from my fav website, Someecards. 

Happy Haunting, friends!

Positive feedback is important.

I love E-bay. I think it's probably the best place to shop ever, because it's like an online thrift store with a bookstore off to the side, as well as a place to buy clothing and jewelry and purses, and where to go to find obscure objects from your childhood that are no longer sold in real life stores. So it's basically like an online New-Used-Vintage-Thrift-Boutique-Museum-and-Bookstore, which is everything I want out of life. 

But every once in a great while, in my browsings, I find the most bizarre things, and I wanted to share some of them with you, for the lols. 

These are all 100% real, and as of "press time," were available to purchase on E-bay.

Peanut M&M from 1989 with a piece of wood inside of it instead of a peanut.

Description: "This is a real 24 year old peanut m&m from 1989 with a piece of wood inside of it instead of a peanut. Comes with the original wrapper.

When I was 20 years old back in 1989, I bought a pack of peanut m&m's from a vending machine. As I was eating the m&m's, I noticed one of the m&m's had an unusual oblong shape to it. (just over an inch long). I bit into it halfway and saw that the other half of the m&m had what appears to be a piece of wood inside of it, instead of a peanut!"

Asking Price: $3,500 plus free shipping

Commentary: $3,500 for a defective 24 year old M&M??

Link: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Rare-Peanut-m-m-from-1989-with-a-piece-of-wood-inside-of-it-instead-of-a-peanut-/150941964877?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item2324d79a4d

My entire Back as ur Billboard

Description: "I am A real Tattoo Advertiser  otherwise known as A Human Billboard....This means I get Tattoos of advertisements for Businesses like yours. I am offering My entire back as your Advertising space.   Not A 4"X4" spot....My entire back from shoulder to shoulder and from neck to waist....This will be my largest and most publicized other than my head tat I did for  TheAuctionRater.com  Which is proof in itself that I live up to what I say I will do. I have never backed out of any deal I have made and have never talked about removing any of my advertisement Tattoos. Never will."

Asking Price: $45,000

Commentary: ...I can't even. 

Link: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Tattoo-advertise-on-me-P1MPLE-My-entire-Back-as-ur-Billboard-/271276505266?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item3f2956f8b2

Pair of peace earrings first worn by future world class cellist

Description: "This is the very first pair of earrings worn by our very own future world class cellist.  While she is acknowledged to be the best cellist in her grade and has earned a perfect score at NYSSMA,  it will take many more years of private lessons to achieve her goal.  All proceeds from this auction will go to the advancement of our budding cello star."

Asking Price: $999.99 plus free shipping

Commentary: I'm pretty sure they couldn't sell Yo-Yo Ma's earrings for $1000, but it's ambitious of them to try.

Link: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Pair-of-peace-earrings-first-worn-by-future-world-class-cellist-/370725039534?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item5650ef2dae

Proper Folding and Wear of the Tinfoil Hat

Description: "Complete instructions for the proper construction and wear of the protective tin foil hat, including materials, the best brands and types of foils, a size chart, proper construction, safety considerations, even fashion tips!"

Starting Bid: $0.99 plus $0.46 shipping

Commentary: At 99 cents, this is a STEAL. 

Link: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Proper-Folding-and-Wear-of-the-Tinfoil-Hat-/271305575457?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item3f2b128c21

VINTAGE 1960'S CERAMIC WEIRD GUY

Description: "VINTAGE  1960'S CERAMIC WEIRD GUY   #13701

LOOKS LIKE A RELATIVE OF PAC MAN?

ABOUT  2 3/8    INCHES  TALL

REALLY  NICE!!!!!!!!!!"

Asking Price: $499.99 plus $3.77 shipping

Commentary: Although I love that his title is literally "Weird Guy," I don't think the 10 exclammation points after "REALLY NICE" make this worth $500. He looks like something I've seen in the Goodwill like, a hundred times, although I guess if he's a legit relative of Pac-Man he might be worth that much.

Link: http://www.ebay.com/itm/FQ-VINTAGE-1960S-CERAMIC-WEIRD-GUY-/370622910995?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item564ad8d213

The Secret of Time and Space

Description: "Why does time exist?

How does it exist? True Measurement of Energy!

(This knowledge most certainly comes from the future where it belongs)

A letter will be mailed to you with my Nobel worthy manuscript, not only logically redefining what limits 'light-speed', but the function and mechanism of 'time' itself!"

Asking Price: $0.99 plus free shipping! 

Commentary: 99 cents seems too cheap for information that certainly comes from the future. If it's not coming from Dr. Who himself, I call shenanigans. 

Link: http://www.ebay.com/itm/The-Secret-of-Time-and-Space-/261295521851?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item3cd66d403b

LIMITED TIME OFFER! One premium Soul

Description: "This soul is a premium, gently used, medium sized soul. This soul may be sold to Satan in exchange for super rock'n roll powers, or whatever else he might offer. Don't get caught in a pinch without your spare soul!

This premium soul also makes a good replacement part for those who may have lost their own."

Starting Bid: $0.99 plus free shipping! 

Commentary: I had no ideas that souls looked like the psychedelic prints hanging inside hippie shops, but it all makes sense now! Also, 99 cents is a steal if you do actually become a rock god. 

Link: http://www.ebay.com/itm/LIMITED-TIME-OFFER-One-premium-Soul-/151146429989?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item2331077e25

 The Ghost Box - Own your own ghost!

 Description: "Our team have collected real ghosts from various cemeteries, haunted houses and other areas where celestial beings conglomerate. We have perfected a “capturing ritual” that forces the ghost into an enclosed area. The inside of the Ghost Box has been treated with a protoplasmic inhibitor which makes it impossible for any spirit to escape from. In addition, a special seal has been placed on the Ghost Box. This seal is called a “Shou” or the Chinese symbol for longevity. The origins of this symbol go back as far as 124 B.C. The original purpose was to seal in evil spirits away from an individual, therefore extending their chances of living longer, better lives.

     All ghosts that we collect are spirits that have been around for ages.They are no longer able to move on to a different realm, be it Heaven, Hell or otherwise. We do not use spirits who have died recently or who have any recollection of their human existence. For this reason, it is perfectly acceptable to name your ghost if you desire to do so. Depending on it’s characteristics, it may or may not respond to a name. And although the ghosts provided have neither male or female characteristics, it may take on such traits to correspond with it’s name, again depending on the nature of the ghost.

Once the seal is broken and the box is opened, you as the owner take on full responsibility for it’s actions. We will not be liable for any actions or reactions of the ghost. If you decide to open the box and release the ghost, you will find another scroll inside describing the ghost held within. This decision should be done wisely, as once the ghost is let out, you cannot put it back in the box.

Custom orders will not be accepted."

Asking Price: $15.99 plus $9.99 shipping

 Commentary: So THIS is how the guys from Ghostbusters are making a living now! I'm just bummed that you can't custom order a ghost. 

 Link: http://www.ebay.com/itm/The-Ghost-Box-Own-your-own-ghost-/121190900542?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item1c378a633e

Boys and girls of every age, wouldn't you like to see something strange?

As far as I'm concerned, it's October. Like, the last five days of September don't even matter, because my favorite holiday is Halloween and I am subjected to literally three months of Christmas crap, so if I want my favorite month to start a few days sooner, so sue me. 

End rant.

Anyway, here are some of my favorite

Things That Remind Me of Fall/October

Fall perfume: I don't even know why Britney Spears's Hidden Fantasy reminds me of fall. I blame the little masquerade masks on the box. But I always break this one out on October 1st and wear it pretty religiously. Also, Bath & Body Works Sweet Cinnamon Pumpkin is kind of a given. 

Capes and hats (all above are from Target!). 

Dark, "vampish" lips (Revlon "Bordeaux" and Covergirl "Entwined").

Studs: love me some studs (bag from Steve Madden, boots from F21 about 3 years ago).

Classic "Halloween" movies.

Tim Burton: all of his movies have that kind of creepy vibe, but "Beetlejuice," "Nightmare Before Christmas," and "Corpse Bride" are particularly Halloweeny (I have a joke about that! Why are there so few pregnant witches? Because all the warlocks have hollow-weenies! Har har har.). Incidentally, Tim Burton leads me to my next item, which is...

Stripes: vertical work best. Horizontal stripes tend to look preppy or nautical (bag and dress from Forever 21, pants from Wet Seal).

Plaid: there's a little "90's grunge" revival happening right now, which means plaid is plentiful (and that's the only good thing about that trend). I'm particularly fond of the blue and green Black Watch tartan (and no, not just because those are the colors of Ravenclaw and Slytherin, my two favorite Hogwarts houses...but it doesn't hurt. Which leads me to...)

Harry Potter: "The Sorcerer's Stone" in particular has a very Halloween-ish feel to it. Probably because that's when the whole "TRRRROOOLLLLL IN THE DUNGEONS!" bit happened. 

And finally, the actual HALLOWEEN thing! 

Oh, and all of this set to this beautimous song (and yes, that's where they got the Dramatic Chipmunk music):

Oh, man. I just love fall and Halloween and October! One day, I will live someplace with a proper fall so I can actually WEAR a cape and a hat and sip cider while taking a hay ride through a pumpkin patch. 

Yes. 

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

I was thinking about the opening credits of movies, and how that's not really a "thing" anymore. They used to run all the credits at the beginning of a movie in the "olden days," but now, not so much. Then this led me to think about my favorite opening credit sequences. So here, I'm sharing (because sharing is caring). 

1. Napoleon Dynamite

I love this sequence. I love all the food and textures and colors. This is definitely one of my all-time favorite opening credits. 

2. Phantom of the Opera

Even though there are no actual credits, this opening scene is mind-blowing. I got chills when I saw it in theaters and still get shivers watching it now. 

3. Edward Scissorhands

All of the Elfman/Burton credit sequences are pretty amazing, but I think this one is my favorite (possible other contender is Corpse Bride. "This is Halloween" would win hands-down, except there's no actual credits). I love how very Burton it is. And the music, of course, is stellar. It's just very indicative of their styles, and the movie is brilliant, too.

4. Mary Poppins

First of all, this is just a very musically sound overture. Musically, I like it a lot. But what I really love is the aerial view of Edwardian England. Plus, there's that sassy break in the middle where Mary Poppins is like, "Bitch, I might powder my nose on a cloud if I feel like it, YOU JUST TRY AND STOP ME." 

5. Bedknobs and Broomsticks

Again, this is a musically awesome opening sequence. But I also love how they went with the Medieval tapestry theme. Also, this movie is just great. 

6. Naked Gun

It makes no sense, but then, neither does the movie. It is funny though.

7. A Hard Day's Night

John, Paul, George, and Ringo star in what is, essentially, the first music video. Need I say more?

8. Babe

I couldn't find an embed-able version, so you'll have to follow the link: Babe Opening Credits

But it's cute because the artwork moves, and it's a cute little rendition of Saint-Saëns' Organ Symphony No. 3, Maestoso Allegro, which is a freaking outstanding piece of classical music. 

9. Star Wars

COME ON, if I didn't put this in you'd be like, "Who killed Mary and hacked her blog?" It's a classic, and it's still timelessly awesome, don't even play.

I realize my list is probably very amateur, but I chose only movies I've actually seen. What would be your favorite opening credit sequence?

Things I Am Really Effing Great At

I promised last time that I would do Part II of the "Things I Suck At" post, which is naturally entitled

Things I Am Pretty Spectacular At (or Things At Which I Am Pretty Spectacular)

• Spelling and grammar. 
  
  
  
• Handwriting.

  

  Okay, not THAT good, but still...

  
  

• Picking out individual smells or notes in perfumes, foods, or jellybeans. 
  
  
  
• Yoga. Or at least the easier poses in yoga.
  
  
  
• Quoting Mary Poppins, The Princess Bride, Star Wars, and Mean Girls.
   
   
   
  
  
  
• Shopping. And not only am I good at the act of shopping, but I'm great at finding something for the absolute cheapest price.
  
  
  
• Finding things on the internet. I'm a Googlemaster. 
  
  
  
• Understanding what dogs are saying.
  
  
  
• Imagining things.
  
  
  
  Especially epic conversations that will either never happen or didn't happen the way I wish they had. 
  
  
• Whistling. I'm a great whistler. 

              

See? I think acknowledging my strengths and weaknesses makes me a well-rounded and self-actualized individual. 

Right??

Things I Am Terrible At

So, while I was bored one day I made a list of things I'm Awesome At and Things I Suck At (or, to be grammatically proper, "Things At Which I Am Awesome" and "Things At Which I Suck"). I was inspired by this video by Jenna Marbles, and thought I'd make a list instead of a video. Because of my duck voice and all. 

That and my Moviemaker is broken, and I don't have any other video editor because I'm poor of reasons.

So, without further ado:

Things I Suck At

• Math. 
  
  
  
• Dieting.
  
  
  
• Running. 
  
  
  
• Lip reading. 
  
  
  
• Acting (but not lying...there's a difference)
  
  
  
• Cutting anything with scissors. Cutting anything in a straight line EVER.
  
  
  
• Anything that involves aim, including most sports. 
  
  
  
• Estimating. Like, "How many people were there?" 12? 100? I have no idea. 
  
  
  
• Dancing. I am white when it comes to dancing. 
  
  
  
• Getting a tan. 
  
  
  
• Reaching things that are high. 
  
  
  
  
  
  Next up: my list of things I'm GREAT at! Because I don't want everyone to message me and be like, "Omg, Mary, why do you hate yourself??" I don't, just calm down.