Mothers complain about how hard life is, and the kids just don't understand.

Sometimes I get so sick of the sound of crying babies/kids. I'm usually really good at tuning it out, but omg sometimes it makes me insane. 

So, I'm shelf reading at my job, which is where you look and make sure all the books are neatly on the shelf and in proper alphabetical order. And I come across this:

And the first thing my mind thinks of is this:

Wasn't he supposed to be retired?? Wishful thinking?

Anyway. 

Job is great. I'm working for my dad, too, during tax season which is nice. I haven't read anything amazing in 2014, but I did read something kind of funny, so expect a book review here soon. 

Personal life= nonexistent. Social life= pretty much the same. 

BUT, I'm thinking sometime this year I'll apply for grad school to get my master's in library sciences. Which is dangerous and exciting and scary all at once. Is it problematic that the most terrifying aspect of that whole thing is passing the math section on the GRE?

Remember the scene in Master and Commander when Russell Crowe takes Paul Bettany to the Galapagos Islands after he gets shot? Because he denied him before and then Bettany gets shot and Russell Crowe feels bad, so he goes there even though it means losing the ship he's been chasing?

One day, I hope someone loves me enough to do that for me. Only I'd prefer not to have to operate on myself using a needle and a hand mirror in order to reach that point.

Home of the brave.

I just really want to live in Captain America's version of America. 

Happy Memorial Day, and thanks to everyone who makes this country great, free, and worth living in. 

Who's scruffy lookin'?

I own more Star Wars shirts than anyone who isn't a) George Lucas, or b) a 7 year old boy has any right to. 

What's this? What's this? There's something very wrong...

Guys. I might...guys, this is serious. I might be looking forward to the Holidays. 

I don't know why. Maybe it's because we actually had seasonal weather at a SEASONAL TIME. Perhaps there's some correlation between cool weather and not-complete-and-utter-dread for the holiday season. 

Feel free to look into that, science majors. 

Not quite THIS seasonal, but isn't this the most entrancing GIF you've ever seen?

...um, yay?

Sometimes, I entertain a really sordid fantasy in which I get stuck in the elevator at work (even though I almost always take the stairs). And, of course, this fantasy means I'm there alone. And I get to curl up and take a nap for like an hour and a half while waiting to be rescued, which means I get to sleep ON THE CLOCK.

(Clearly, my fantasy life could use some spicing up.)

"That's one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!"

My reaction to the Christmas music, traffic and general mess that will be the Christmas season in Orlando:


I think if I had snow and a pony (and quiet), I'd enjoy Christmas more.

"I am no bird, and no net ensnares me."

{Illustration by Dame Darcy for Spanish edition of Jane Eyre.}

This song played like 6 times while I was at work today (you can skip to about 0:40 for the relevant part):


And all I could think of was,
"I'M GONNA BE A LITTLE SAILFISH."

Omg, Britney, get it together. It was one thing when you shaved your head, but you can not be a fish. Silly, silly Britney.

If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.

I thank God for this man. Like, literally. Occasionally in church.

I don't know. I just feel like I owe him something. He's not really the funniest guy in television. His new show is highly sub-par to his short stint on Late Night. But he makes me laugh. When Sassy died, I was plummeted into this hideous depression, and the only way I could fall asleep without sobbing myself silly first was to watch Conan. We've been buddies ever since.

He just doesn't know it. Yet.

I routinely shop in the baby boy's sections at stores, not because I know a baby boy or am secretly harboring a wistful desire to someday have baby boys (ew, God, no).




I do it because Bixby looks so darn cute in them!



{It's official. I'm an old pug lady at 22.}

Two things:
1.

Happy Birthday, Harry Potter and J.K. Rowling! And yes, WHEN I publish my worldwide phenomenon book, my main character will share my birthday. Creative narcissism and all that.

2.

I've already started forming my thesis and doing research for the fall term since I literally have nothing else to do all day. Dracula is on the book list for two of my classes, so I figure I'll have to do a paper on it at least once, right? Might as well get started now.




Omg, kill me. I'm that girl.

^GPOY.

I follow Tom Felton on Twitter, and he seems like such a sweet, well-mannered guy...always doing stuff for charity and whatnot.

Then I accidentally come across photos like this


and I feel as though I've walked in on the sordid, fetishistic sex life of a mild acquaintance.


SHUNNN.





Why do you think family mattered more to the Malfoys (or specifically Narcissa) than obeying Voldemort?
I'm not so sure I'd go as far as saying family mattered more to Lucius. I think by the 7th book, Lucius Malfoy has had such a fall from grace that he's a shell of his former imposing self as seen in Chamber of Secrets. Maybe at the very end he was confronted with the reality of everything he'd lost and made the switch wholeheartedly but I tend not to believe that. As far as Narcissa is concerned, she was never a Death Eater. She didn't have the mark or anything--she was just lumped in there by familial association. It's clear throughout the series (especially, to me, in the 6th book) that she loves Draco and wanted better for him than the life she and his father had been sucked into. So for her, I don't feel like her allegiance was ever 100%. She was just the sister of his "first lieutenant" and wife of his right-hand man.

I wish the books had given the Malfoys, or at least Draco, a bit more redemption. Like I said, I'm not sure I buy anything regarding Lucius. But I wish Narcissa and Draco had gotten that moment (like Kreacher's) where they reconcile themselves with the right side. We get the odd head-nod moment at the train station 19 years later, but that was never good enough for me. I feel like Draco's a more complicated character than that and deserved a better ending.

Thoughts?

Sex and love and MAGIC.

When everyone's all excited about their hot sex lives and hot sexy dance parties:

And I react like:




TRUFAX.

This is a little ickier than things I normally post, but BEAR WITH ME.

My first thought upon viewing this image

was that from henceforth, "that time of the month" shall be known as SHARK WEEK.

Boooooks.

I'm running out of room for my books. I have two rows per bookshelf, and then books squeezed in on top of books. I have books in every room, including rooms that I no longer live in.

My mom's thoughts on this: get rid of books.

My reaction:












You don't just get RID of books. That's like getting rid of children. To be fair, I do pass on books that I don't like, but even then I keep some of the bad ones because I want them in my collection (why, hello there, Heart of Darkness). I must now discover a new place to hide them so I don't have to get rid of them.

^Life's new mission.