Sound medical advice...from 3 year olds.

Girl 1: What happened? What happened to your knee?

Girl 2: KNEE!

Boy: *worried face*

Me: I got a boo-boo on my knee.

Girl 1 (pointing at knee brace): What's that?

Girl 2: THAT?

Boy: *worried face*

Me: I wear that and it helps my knee feel better.

Girl 1: How did you hurt your knee?

Girl 2: HOW?

Boy: *curious face*

Me: I fell down. 

Girl 1: Did you fall on your dog?

Girl 2: Were you wearing a long dress?

Boy: You fell?

Me: I did, I just fell over my own feet. 

(All three look at me like, "WAIT, THAT CAN HAPPEN?")

Me: It was an accident.

Girl 2: CRAYONS! 

*Girls run off. Boy stays and starts petting my knee.*

Boy: I could get you a band-aid. 

Me: *dead*

Boy: I could kiss your knee and get a band-aid and put medicine on it and it would feel better.

LIKE OMG, EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO DIE FROM CUTENESS. 

This is why the human race won't go extinct, because sometimes kids are just too freaking adorable and sweet to handle. 

The obvious difference between little girls and little boys.

Teacher: "Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, eating her curds and whey. Along came a spider, who sat down beside her, and frightened Miss Muffet away."

Now, what could the spider have done to be more polite?

Girl 1: Not just barge in to where she was eating.

Girl 2: Asked if he could sit next to her.

Boy: Kill her. 

Thank goodness someone invented Abraham Lincoln.

(At a lecture about Henry Flagler and all the hotels and railroads he built)

Woman (asking the lecturer a question): Who provided the labor for the railroads? Was it Indians or slaves or--

Little boy: *hand raised, talks without being called on* Umm, I don't think it was slaves, because when Abraham Lincoln was invented, they stopped all that. 

Child: Look Mom! It's Curious George!

Mom 1: It is Curious George! 

Mom 2: I hate Curious George. 

Mom 1: Why?

Mom 2:He makes me nervous! You know that guy in the yellow hat is going to look away and that monkey's going to get into something. He's not very good...that man in the yellow hat.

Mom 1: No...I guess he is a bit negligent...