A Gif-Heavy Review Of Les Miserables From Someone Who Doesn't Like Musicals And Never Saw This One Til The Movie.

::There will be spoilers.::

Okay, so here's the deal. 

Apart from Phantom of the Opera and Mary Poppins, I actually don't like musicals. So sue me.

That being said, let me explain my history with Les Miserables. 

I knew it was a musical about this

And that's it. Then we did a marching band show in high school featuring the music, and being the complete and utter band geek I was, I tried to read the book so I knew the story to go along with the music. 

For anyone else who's ever tried to read Hugo and failed, you can guess how that went. Also, Les Miserables the book is like, a million pages. So I Sparknoted it. I know all the characters, chapters, plotlines, and important quotations now! 

I am also going to English major hell for admitting that. 

So anyway, we played the show and I vaguely got it. 

Then, for whatever reason, we had to read the part of the book where the priest gives Jean Valjean the candlesticks, I kid you not, like four separate times in high school. I'm not sure why out of the entire book that was the only part they ever made us read (probably because little else is appropriate for a school setting, but it was HIGH school. We all knew what a prostitute was.), but there it is. So I knew all about Jean Valjean and the candlesticks, too. 

Anyway, between my very scant "reading" and knowing the music from the show we did, that was it. I had no desire to ever see the Broadway show because a) the story did nothing for me, b) the book is HUGE so the musical was, I was sure, very long, and c) it's a DEPRESSING story. I mean, it literally translates to "THE MISERABLE." 

Then I saw trailers. And there was the music, but it was so much BIGGER than a 25 piece marching band. And there was Hugh Jackman. And Anne Hathaway, and Russel Crowe, of all people. And it looked big and epic and awesome and I was like

So, naturally, I had to go see it. 

WELL LET ME TELL YOU. 

First of all, I have NEVER seen a movie that left me as heartily depressed as I was after that movie. I mean, 4 days later, I was still recovering. And I'd like to see it again, but I don't think I can. Like, it's one of those movies you can watch maybe a couple of times IN YOUR LIFE and then you're like, "Wow, I have got to stop wishing to die." 

So the opening where there's the Work Song and the ship and stuff, I was like: 

Then I heard Russel Crowe singing and I was like:

Then there was all the stuff with the candlesticks, which I could've recited if I'd known how the music went. Then like, fast forward 8 years and we're up to Fantine aka: Anne Hathaway. And it was just a depressing downhill spiral from there. She loses her job, her hair, her teeth, and becomes a prostitute all in about 10 minutes. 

Oh, and then she dies. 

THEN we get to see her orphaned daughter, Cosette, who is also the little girl in the Les Miserables logo or whatever (do musicals have logos? Emblems? What's the proper term here??). And she's all sad and orphaned and is basically Helena Bonham Carter's slave. Everyone thinks "Master of the House" is like, the comic relief, but it was mostly just vulgar and it kind of grossed me out in the movie.

But I will never speak ill of Helena Bonham Carter because she is perfection, so we'll move on.

Valjean-Jackman rescues Cosette, who grows up to be Amanda Seyfried. 

Really, the love story in this movie is about Russel Crowe and Hugh Jackman, which was totes okay with me. Russel Crowe stalks him for like, 25 years ruthlessly. They yell. They fight. They try to kill each other. It was beautiful.

THEN, enter the whole second half of the movie, which focuses on a pretty unrelated group of revolutionaries in France. Okay, they're not unrelated. The girl, Eponine (aka: world's most tragic character ever) is Helena Bonham Carter's daughter (in the film), and the guy, Marius, falls in love with Cosette/Amanda Seyfried. So it is all related. Just vaguely, by threads.  

Anyway, this part got boring and my mom and I did a lot of snarking during this bit because it was just like, love triangle between Eponine, Marius, and Cosette, more gayness cat-and-mouse between Valjean-Jackman and Javert-Crowe, and a lot of singing and plotting to start a revolution. 

The problem with revolutions is you need people to show up. Well guess what didn't happen in this story?

SPOILER ALERT:

Except Marius and Valjean-Jackman  They live by escaping through the sewers. Kind of exactly like the scene in Star Wars where Princess Leia saves everyone on the Death Star by jumping into the garbage chute. Yes I did just compare Les Mis and Star Wars. Don't even.

So blah blah, like a bunch of singing happens. Valjean-Jackman has his final confrontation with Javert-Crowe and lets him go instead of shooting his brains out, and this literally blows Javert-Crowe's mind so much that he can't even handle it and kills himself. But he does it so grossly. He jumps off a building into a reservoir or something and there's an almighty SNAP as his body breaks in half. I was like: 

So then ultimately, Cosette and Marius get married and the pain of losing Cosette causes Valjean-Jackman to lose his will to live. REALLY??

The guy survives 20 years in prison/work camp, evades Javert-Crowe for another 20 years, and he dies of heartbreak?!? SO LAME. 

Then, Fantine-Hathaway's ghost comes to usher him to the other side, where he sees the priest and all the people who died during the failed revolution. I was very bothered that in this version of heaven, Anne Hathaway's hair didn't grow back, and that paradise is basically the revolution. It's not HEAVEN at all! It's a war scene! 

And the movie just ends so abruptly. You spend 2 and a half hours working up to this epic thing and then it's just like "GASPslump" and Jean Valjean's dead and two minutes later, the credits are rolling. I was like:

And when I realized that was it, I was like:

But mostly:

It was just so depressing. There is not one happy moment in the whole thing. Everyone dies. It's dreadful.

Too long didn't read: 

So overall. The acting/singing was pretty good. Hugh Jackman impressed me. So did Anne Hathaway. Amanda Seyfried sounded like a bird, and Russel Crowe basically just barks and yells his lines, but it wasn't horrid. The costumes were nice, I guess. Everyone looked duly filthy and poor and smelly, so the makeup gets props.

Favorite characters had to be Jean Valjean, because he has the ultimate redemption story and I love that crap, and Javert, because he thought he was doing the right thing the whole time, legally and morally. I just wish he hadn't killed himself. I'd respect him a lot more if he'd just accepted that Valjean was both a criminal and a good man and gone on with his life. 

Musically, here's the deal. There are the few songs that everyone knows that are really good (Work Song, I Dreamed A Dream, At The End of the Day, Master of the House, On My Own, Can You Hear The People Sing, etc.), but everything in between is just like, disjointed notes being sung. I'm not sure how you'd rehearse for it, because it's so indefinable it'd be hard to read music for it, or pick it up by ear. I think Phantom is superior musically (and I know that's an unpopular opinion, deal with it) just because there are motifs and themes interwoven throughout the whole thing and even the "dialog songs" are very musical. Also, there is a pipe organ. 

Really, my opinion is this: we love the musicals we grew up on. Unless we just like musicals, like the entire cast of Glee. I don't. But I knew the music from Phantom before I even had any idea what the story was about. And the people I know who love Les Mis say the same thing about their lives--their parents loved the show so they grew up around it. I don't know. Overall, it's worth seeing. Just bring prozac/ice cream/whatever antidepressant you prefer . I didn't cry, I just wanted to stop existing after I saw it. The singing wasn't awesome, but it definitely could've been worse. 

And Phantom of the Opera is better, so see that instead if you have a choice. :)

"Where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice."

Well, I wouldn't, but I know someone who would!

I just finished taking Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University class at a local church and thought I should probably blog about it. I don't agree with everything he teaches 100% (because if I did, that would be Maryism, which, contrary to the popular belief of every protestant ever, is not just another name for Catholicism), but I agree with about 90% of it, and it's helped me out in a BIG and very real way. 

First of all, who is Dave Ramsey? He's a Tennessee guy who made his first million by 26 and lost it all and then some by the time he was 30. His journey from millionaire to bankruptcy was the catalyst for him developing a money philosophy: build wealth by not having any debt whatsoever. 

Now, a lot of people think they're debt-free. I did. But Dave will be quick to point out that everything you owe anything on--car, credit cards, medical bills, student loans, everything but your house--is a debt, and it needs to be paid off ASAP. If you have no debt and no payments, you can use ALL of your income to save and buy cool things, like houses, and cars that cost more than $9,000. 

Paying off everything sounds great on paper, but it's just not practical to wake up one morning and go, "I think I'll just pay off everything." First of all, no one has that kind of money. Secondly, you still have your basic living expenses: food, gas, rent, etc. that must be paid even though you'd like to pay off certain things. Thirdly, you can't do it overnight or everyone would do it and American Express would be out of business. 

This is why Dave developed what he calls the Seven Baby Steps to getting out of debt. They are as follows:

1. Save up a starter emergency fund of $1,000 (or $500 if you make $20,000/year or less). This is in case something happens when you're tackling step #2. Also, I can personally attest to the fact that as someone who's never had an "emergency fund" before, having one is EPIC for your peace of mind. 

2. Begin to pay off your debt snowball. A debt snowball is where you list all of your debts in order from smallest to largest. Every week or month, you dump as much money as you can onto the smallest debt and get it paid off while making minimum payments on everything else. Once debt #1 is paid off, you take the money you were putting towards that debt towards debt #2. Then you pay that off. Then that money goes towards paying off debt #3 and so-on. His philosophy is that by attacking one thing with intensity, you'll actually PAY IT OFF as opposed to paying a little bit on everything over the period of an eternity.

3. Build up an emergency fund of 3-6 months' worth of expenses. That way, you don't need to go back into debt when (not if) those emergency-type things happen.

4. Once you've taken care of the debt snowball (no more credit card payments! No more car payments! Whee!), you put 15% of your income towards retirement. He recommends investing in IRA's and growth-stock mutual funds, but I'm not even here yet, so I can't talk about investing and mutual funds and other really financially-adult things yet. 

5. Put away money for the kids' college. This is also irrelevant to my life, but I know that I DO want to be able to fund my kids' educations, because I have very little faith in the government actually doing so. 

6. Pay off your mortgage. I'd probably care more if I had a house. 

7. Build wealth and give. 

His philosophy is "live like no one else (driving crap cars and making sacrifices and budgeting) so that later you can live like no one else (having a paid off home, and car, and no debts whatsoever)." 

I initially discovered Dave in the car. As many of you know, I spend an average of 60-100 minutes a day in the car, depending on traffic. I listen to music in the morning, but on the way home I need something engaging to help keep me awake (I've found that I spend an awful lot of time either trying to stay awake or planning how I can squeeze a nap into my day). I found the Dave Ramsey Show and initially started listening to hear all the crazy money problems other people were having. It made me feel better about my own situation. Kind of like how we all watch Maury and Jerry Springer. Only the more I listened, the more I realized that I wasn't really in any better situation that a lot of the callers. And what Dave Ramsey said actually made sense. He doled out useful advice (instead of chairs to hit people with and Mardi Gras beads to people who flashed the audience), and it just made sense to me. Of course! If you have no payments you can keep ALL of your paycheck! Why had no one thought of this before?!

So when I heard a church down the street was offering his class, I sort of arm-wrestled my parents into going with me. 

So do I recommend the class? Absolutely. I loved it (so did my parents). It goes for 9 weeks and covers all the baby steps in detail so you know exactly how to tackle each one. I had also read his book, The Total Money Makeover, and I recommend it HIGHLY to anyone looking for a financial revamp. It really did change the way I look at money and finances, and while I'm disappointed I didn't find this all out sooner, I think I found it at a great time, because I can arm-wrestle my future husband into this way of thinking, and maybe, just maybe, we won't have credit card payments and our kids' college will be paid for. 

One of the biggest proponents of this class is getting rid of credit cards. I had already gotten rid of mine, because I had major credit card debt (when I say "major" I mean "major for someone who makes roughly $20,000 a year." We're not talking 5 and 6 digit major, here, but major for me). Being a shiny-eyed, naive college student, I signed up for credit cards (like, a lot of them) under the pretense that I needed to build credit in case I ever bought a house or something. What I didn't realize then is that a) I have a serious addiction to shopping, and b) in order to build credit, you actually have to be able to PAY your bills. So, being the young idiot I am, I got myself way in over my head in credit card debt, which I am still paying off. Dave teaches to cut them up (in what he refers to as "plastic surgery.") and use cash in their stead. With cash, you physically FEEL money going away. You had a full wallet, and then your wallet got skinny when the money went away. With a card, you can swipe away $100 and not feel a thing.  

I thought this was stupid and cheesy at first, but it's so accurate, it's painful.

I am completely on cash now. I am making (and sticking to!) a budget for the first time in my life. Each week, I divvy up my paycheck according to what I need to buy, what I need to save, and what I need to pay off. It's tight (like, Adam Lambert's pants tight), but I'm making it work. One of the things I realized is that having a budget is, ironically, freeing. It's nice to know, "okay, AFTER I put aside money to pay my bills, I have this much left over to spend." I didn't realize how stressed I was about money until that stress went away. 

In short, I am working really hard on my financial situation, thanks to Dave Ramsey, and I cannot recommend his books and class enough. It's a long road, but I feel like I'm equipped now to make the journey--successfully. 

Dave's Book, The Total Money Makeover (I recommend this the highest out of anything mentioned in here)

Intro to the Baby Steps

Free Budgeting Forms

Dave's Radio Show

If you guys have any questions about this, leave a comment or shoot me a message! I'd love to discuss this with my readers! I hope you're all having a really lovely Christmas season, btw. 

PS: I should mention that Dave is an evangelical Christian, and as such, makes copious references to scripture and the teachings of Christ. This doesn't bother me in the least bit, but if you were thinking of taking a class, take note: he does mention God stuff a lot. If that puts you off, I'd listen to his radio show or read his book. The order of preachiness goes like this, from least to highest: radio show, books, FPU class. The FPU class is traditionally taught in churches, so it tends to be more heavy-handed on the Biblical aspects of finance. He keeps it pretty neutral on his radio show, and in the books you can skip over it if you don't like it. Like I said, I actually like this part, but I'm a practicing Christian so it doesn't bother me. Just FYI. 

It's my FAAAVORITE THIIIINGS!

You have to read the title in the manic Oprah voice.

So every year, Oprah would do this show called her Favorite Things wherein she'd give everyone in the audience a veritable treasure trove of stuff. And while I was sick (the first time, I'm sick again now. Should've asked Santa for a new body that was healthier) I watched my first one.

Now, I generally can't stand Oprah. But when I flipped channels and it was her last Favorite Things episode, I HAD to watch because of all the great spoofs that've been made of it. And they are DEADLY accurate.





So then I was like, "Omg, I could do a Favorite Things blog post of all the stuff I'd give out if I was Oprah!" So that's precisely what I'm going to do.



Mary's FAVORITE THINGS!


The first thing I'd give away would be Lush Dream Cream, because this is hands-down my favorite lotion for ANYTHING. There are claims that it cures everything from minor cuts to eczema and it's completely, 100% natural. You can use it on everything from hands to legs to the sensitive eye area and it does AMAZINGLY. Some people are put off by the smell, but I personally love it (roses and lavender!) and I think the results would outweigh any displeasure from the odor.

And to go with it, I'd give away...

...my three favorite Lush soaps!
I'd give away 13 (Unlucky for Dirt) Soap because it's naturally antibacterial. At first I despised the smell--roses and oregano! Seriously?? But it gets rid of germs and rinses off so cleanly, and ultimately I ended up liking it. Spicy and floral aren't usually mixed together, but it's kind of a sweet combination!
I'd also give away Sexy Peel, because it's like you split open dozens of oranges and lemons inside your shower. It smells so refreshing and invigorating! It's got little pieces of orange peel in it, which sounds like you're washing with garbage but it doesn't feel that way at all. It's very clean. I absolutely love this soap. And it's perfect for ladies AND gents, just like 13!
And lastly, I'd give away 17 Cherry Tree Lane, not only because I love the name (and Mary Poppins, of course!), but it's probably my favorite Lush scent. It's like a soft, sweet jasmine floral with just a hint of spiciness. It's also got the gratuitous "spoonful of sugar" thrown into the mix...what's not to love?




Oprah usually gives out diamonds and like, real bling, but since I don't own any of that, I'd give out something I DO have and love. I bought myself these Brighton earrings as a graduation present, and I adore them! The lever backs are by and large the most comfortable, and I do love Brighton. I almost exclusively wear silver (not that I hate gold, I just think silver looks better with my coloring), and Brighton is my favorite "drug of choice" when it comes to silver. It's thick, heavy and long-lasting. But the earrings themselves aren't heavy to wear. I also like the faux diamond because it's just enough bling to add a little fabulosity to your everyday.




I would absolutely give every person in my audience Star Wars on DVD. These ones are the ones I own and they come with the unretouched theatrical editions, too, which I think is important. I'm not against the changes George Lucas made, but I watched the originals obsessively before the re-releases came out, so those were the ones I was used to. I can still point out every change he made and tell you what happened in the originals. So yeah, I think I'd like everyone to have these, especially people who grew up watching the re-released versions just so they could see the originals for themselves.
Also, Star Wars has shaped my ideas on right and wrong, death, morality, duty, and friendship more than I'd care to admit. So while Oprah lauds Eckhart Tolle, I recommend Luke Skywalker.



If you've never tried Peterbrooke's Chocolate Popcorn, you have not lived. This stuff is the single most delectable treat I think I've ever had. I am a MAJOR fan of the sweet/salty combo, and this stuff hits the spot 100%. Also, Oprah always gives out some kind of food (she gave out chicken pies on the episode I saw. CHICKEN. PIES.), so here you go.




I very honestly believe laughter is the best medicine for all kinds of ills, so I'd give everyone the Best of Jimmy Fallon SNL DVD. Saturday Night Live is (almost) always funny to me, and I love Jimmy Fallon, so this is two birds with one stone!



You'd also get a Team Coco T-Shirt because while Jimmy Fallon is funny, no one holds a candle to Conan. And if I was Oprah, the first person I'd reach out to befriend as celeb BFF's would be Conan. You better believe it.



It is my firm belief that every woman should own something luxurious...or even something that makes her feel luxurious. There is something innately female about feeling glamorous, and the person who I feel best encapsulates that feminine vigor is Betsey Johnson. Everyone in my audience would go home with a Betsey Johnson Wallet and a sample of her new fragrance, Too Too, because a little luxe goes a long way. And perfume isn't universal. I like this one better than her original (even if the original's packaging is WAYYY better), but that's not everyone's opinion. So you get a trial size. CHEAP OPRAH.



Since these shows happen around the holidays, I felt obligated to give something Christmassy or seasonal. So I chose this Pashmina Scarf from Target. YES, TARGET, OKAY?? I'm not ACTUALLY Oprah! Anyway, I have this scarf in a few colors and I love it because it's WAY bigger than it looks, so it can double as a wrap or shawl. And there are loads of different ways to tie it, and it's so soft. You'd get it in red, like Mattie Silver (and if you haven't read Ethan Frome, you really need to because it's a beautiful story and not all about sex as my brother would tell you).



SPEAKING OF READING (and don't pretend like you weren't expecting this), I'd give my audience a collection of my favorite or most-inspiring books.
Pride and Prejudice is my blanket-statement favorite book (though it ties with Wuthering Heights...P&P is just so much more cheerful), so you'd definitely get that.
I maintain that reading Sherlock Holmes drew me out of one of the severest depressions of my life, and I can't thank him enough for that. The stories are incredible (and short! Perfect for cozying up with before bed) and kind of changed the way I observe the world around me.
Little House in the Big Woods was my gateway drug to reading. My Mom used to read that series to me when I was little, and it was the absolute highlight of my day. I've since re-read them as an adult, and they are such quality stories! And it's fascinating to me because the books are steeped in fact--that stuff actually happened. So this one's definitely one of the top influential books in my life, and I'd like to pass it on to everyone to either read for themselves or gift to a kid they know.
This is such a cop-out, but I'd give everyone the first Harry Potter, just to get them going on it. And I'd give away the adult cover ones so you don't feel like a fool reading it in public.
No-Fear Shakespeare is such a great tool, and not just for students! They have the original text of the play on one page and then the "real English" translation on the other...so cool! So you can actually blast your way through Hamlet without getting tripped up by the language. And while Hamlet is arguably Shakespeare's best play (and probably my favorite from a literary standpoint), Midsummer Night's Dream is my favorite story, so I'd give that one away.
I know I've already talked about Yes Man, but this was one of those books that sticks with you and I really believe it's a life-changing story. So I'd want everyone to read it. It's hilarious, too, and that never hurts. :)
I just finished reading The Sugar Queen by Sarah Addison Allen, and I could NOT put it down. I finished it in two nights. And it was so good! Allen almost always uses food as a motiff in her writing, but it takes center stage in this novel. This book is like eating dessert--it takes place in the modern world but has a touch of magic (her books always do...think the movie "Practical Magic") and a hint of Southern gothic. It's really a treasure of a book, and had a message that was so relevant to me and where I am at this point in my life. Loved it.
And finally, I'd give everyone a copy of The Duchess, because this book changed the way I feel and think about being a woman, especially in today's world. Georgiana of Devonshire was CENTURIES ahead of her time and trapped cruelly in a society which caged her in a loveless and faithless marriage. She was brilliant, beautiful, and brave, and really an inspiration to me. She's up there with my Favorite People of All Time. She was also a pal of Marie Antoinette's, so if you love that era or history or women or ANYTHING, you've got to read this book. It's a historical non-fiction that reads like fiction...I couldn't put it down and it hasn't left me yet.




I would definitely give everyone gift cards to Plato's Closet and TJ Maxx, just because money goes further there than anywhere else. You can score designer stuff for wayyy less than retail price at TJ Maxx, and I believe in Plato's as a company. I like that people can recycle their clothing as opposed to filling landfills with them, and it's an affordable way to keep your wardrobe current. So, happy shopping!



Everyone gets a throw blanket with whales on it because I have one and love it and it's super cozy.
That really doesn't merit any other description.



Oprah usually gives away something kitchen-y, but since I'm an absolute domestic failure, I'd give away Tervis Tumblers! I LOVE these cups! They're insulated and can keep hot or cold beverages the right temperature for HOURS. You can customize them, too, with whatever name or images you want. And they have a lifetime guarantee, so if yours gets crapped up all you have to do is mail it to the factory (there's one in Fort Myers!), and they'll send you a new one, free of charge. They're AWESOME.



And lastly, I FINALLY got a REAL Coach bag this year and it is by far the best bag I've ever owned. The classic Coach monogram is timeless and goes with everything. The size and style of this bag is ideal for everyday use as it's big enough to hold your essentials (and a book!), but small enough to carry around with you. The leatherwork and stitching are perfect...in the eye of the beholder (aka: me), these bags are works of art. So everyone would DEFINITELY get one!


YAYYYY! OPRAH'S MARY'S FAVORITE THINGS! I HAVE MEDICS STANDING BY SO FEEL FREE TO RIP YOUR HAIR OUT AND EAT YOUR NEIGHBOR'S EYEBALLS!!!

Seriously though.
Hope you enjoyed the list!

Splurge vs. Save: Lipstick for Gloss Lovers

So, those of you who know me know that my go-to lip products are Burt's Bees and lip gloss. I love lipstick, but I just prefer the balmy feeling of a gloss or chapstick. So sue me.

Well, since my favorite NYC lipgloss has been discontinued (and the online price bumped to $11! It used to be TWO BUCKS in drugstores!), I've been in a a bit of a panic over finding something to replace it. There are loads of lipsticks out there, I just hate the texture that most of them have. They leave my lips feeling dry--or worse, CAKEY--and the color payoff is oftentimes mediocre at best.

So, being an idiot, I decided I was feeling fancy one day (you have to say "fancy" with a British accent..."fauncy") and went to Sephora to see what I could find.

I was immediately drawn to the Benefit Silky Finish Lipsticks. They came in beautiful black and white tube, had the most divinely creamy texture, and had a variety of colors to choose from. So I bought one in "Rocket Pop."

It was a beautiful color and felt absolutely HEAVENY on my lips.



For like, fifteen minutes.

After that? Gone. Gone like Herman Cain from the presidential race. Just like, NOTHING.

Sorry, Benefit, but if I'm paying almost TWENTY DOLLARS for something, I want to it to last longer than that! God forbid you try to eat or drink anything in it! I might as well have been wearing my tinted Burt's (It totally would've lasted longer. That is such a quality product...expect a review in the near future). I don't care how pretty the packaging is. If it sucks that badly, it's going back.

So I owned that for less than 24 hours. So much for being fancy.

Then I went into CVS, and saw the Revlon Lip Butters. The internet has been abuzz with these things already, so I decided to try one.

Oh. My. WORD.

They are so worth the hype. This may well be the world's perfectest lip product. It feels like a chapstick going on, has the finish of a gloss, and the color payoff of a lipstick. This is like the Holy Grail of lip products.

Being a makeup junkie and a CVS Rewards Card member with some cool coupons and stuff, I got five. Which came out to just over $20. So for two dollars more than the Benefit Craptacular Lipfail, I got FIVE WHOLE LIPSTICK THINGS.

(I apologize for the utter lack of HD photography. I do what I can with what I have, okay?)


Those are the ones I own, and the whole line has dessert names. How cute! From left to right: Strawberry Shortcake (1), Peach Parfait (2), Berry Smoothie (3), Lollipop (4), and Candy Apple (5).

I wanted to swatch them out so you can see them:



Strawberry Shortcake is a really sweet, light pink color. When I first tried it, it immediately reminded me of Mac's Viva Glam Gaga, which I love. But this one just seemed a little more wearable for me. I love pale pinks (St. Germain by Mac is SO pretty, I just can't wear it!), but I have a hard time finding a good shade. This one is light without looking pasty!


Peach Parfait is a perfect neutral. It's a peachy pink with gold shimmer, but I didn't even notice the shimmer until I photographed it. It's definitely not like you have massive chunks of glitter on your lips. This one is perfect for everyday, and I think it would be especially pretty in the summer!

Berry Smoothie may well be my favorite, because that shade is one of my go-to colors for everyday wear. I like berry colors, because if I go too light on lip color with my pale complexion, I look dead. So I definitely like a little bit richer colors. This one is exactly how it sounds--a pinkish berry color. I wore it today at work all day, and the staying power is pretty remarkable for a balm-gloss type thing.

Lollipop is an awesome fuschia, hot pink color. It's bright, but what's great about these is how buildable they are--apply lightly for a sheer wash of color, or apply with a heavier hand for brighter, more "lipsticky" color. This one is just FUN. I love brights, and I can definitely see it getting a lot of wear this spring and summer.

And finally, Candy Apple is a fire engine red with orange undertones. I was torn between getting that one and one called Cherry Tart, but as aforementioned, I love berry tones and have a lot of deeper reds. I don't have anything with ANY orange in it, though, so I decided "what the heck" and went for it. I'm not sure how flattering it is for me personally, but once I wear it a couple times, I'll know for certain. Either way, this is an awesome punch of color for gutsy girls or days when you need that extra "pop." I think pairing it with a neutral or gray eye would be fun.



Anyway, they run about $7 a piece, and they are worth every single penny. They're a little hard to find, but apparently, Revlon is planning on making them a permanent fixture for their Color Stay line (which is silly, because anything with "gloss" or "balm" in it isn't really long-lasting, but there it is). If you come across them, grab one and just try it. You won't be disappointed!

You also won't be out $20 like you'd be if you'd gone to Sephora. ;)

"Everyone, just pretend to be normal."

I just watched this movie and kind of felt it incumbent upon myself to share my thoughts with you.

This movie is so odd. It's an indie film, so I'm not sure what I was expecting. But even with it's bizarre plotlines and characters, there was something unforgettable and deeply touching about it. You've got the Dad who's a failed motivational speaker with an obsession with winning; the overworked Mom who's attempting to hold it all together; the foul-mouthed, heroin-using Grandpa; the angst-ridden teenage son who's taken a voluntary vow of silence until he achieves his dream of getting into the Airforce Academy; the gay, suicidal uncle who's the country's leading scholar of Proust; and the quirky little girl who dreams of being Miss America. It's such a ramshackle bunch of people crammed together in a yellow VW Minibus. How could it NOT be a great movie?

There are parts that are really sad and really moving. The comedy is definitely what I'd call "dark." That being said, I definitely laughed out loud at a number of scenes. The movie starts out with each member of the family doing their own thing individually. And it ends with all of them performing a burlesque striptease-esque number on stage at a child's pageant. The overarching theme of the movie is the fact that alone, you're only so good. Together, with the people you love, you can be great. And I think that's a really decent message.

Trust me, I'm a Blogger.

So I'm no doctor or anything...in fact, I'm pretty much as far from a doctor as you can get. But having spent my entire life with a somewhat sickly constitution, I've tried just about every remedy in the book: nettie pots, ear candles, IV's, nebulizers...the whole nine. I just want to rec one that I find extremely soothing and effective. And it's free. And since it's cold/flu season, I figured maybe someone might find it useful. Not that I'd wish a cold or flu on any of my readers.
Just humor me, guys.

Using steam to clear sinuses, nasal, and lung congestion is one of the oldest and most "tried and true" home remedies. There were some studies a while back about whether or not steaming killed the cold/flu virus (apparently viruses die at 109 degress...who knew, right?), but the jury's still out on that one. BUT it is pretty conclusive that using steam helps loosen up congestion and when you have a cold, you pretty much want ANYTHING that will bring some relief.

So here's a step-by-step.

1. Boil water.

Pretty self-explanatory. You won't need tons and tons. I'd say 2 cups or 3 cups would be the max. You're just using it for the steam.

2. Pour into a glass bowl.

Any glass bowl will work, as long as it can hold boiling water. Just don't use plastic or something that'll melt.

3. Add essential oil.

This step is optional, but I am a major believer in aromatherapy. For sinus congestion, my favorites are Eucalyptus and Peppermint. Both work well to clear out your head. I prefer Eucalyptus just because it's LONG been used as a decongestant, but the mint works well too. Just be careful with the mint--let it steep into the water for a minute or so before inhaling, otherwise, it'll sting your eyes. And that's no bueno.
Add JUST ONE DROP of essential oil. They're extremely concentrated and any more will be overkill. Especially with peppermint.
Can you tell peppermint is for the sickie who likes to live dangerously? ;)

4. Get a tissue box, some water, and a towel.

And no, that's not a clever "Hitchhiker's Guide" reference. You really will need a towel.
When you're sick, it's SO IMPORTANT to drink lots and lots. When you have a cold, your body is in mucus production overdrive, so it's way important to drink lots to keep all that production thin. I'm not going into any more detail than that because it's gross. Just google it. And when you steam, because it's so hot and you will probably sweat, it's really important to drink plenty before and after.

Also, the whole point of steaming is to open up your sinuses and nasal passageways, so keep tissues handy.

5. Put the water and your head under the towel and BREATHE.

It's like your playing "ghostie" or "tent" with yourself and a bowl of hot water. Just put your head under there and breathe deeply in and out through your nose. You can inhale through the mouth so it goes directly into your lungs if chest congestion is your bigger problem. But either way, it's just really soothing.

When you're sick, your nasal passageways tend to get really dried out from excessive nose-blowing, and I find that this REALLY helps to remoisturize everything. Steam and saline. If you've never used saline before when you're sick, you are seriously deprived. And it costs like $3 at Walgreens.



So all digressions and amateur photos aside, yes, this is a step-by-step on how to use steam to relieve nasal congestion. I hope that if any of you are sick this fall/winter that you'll give it a shot because at least in my opinion, it WORKS awesomely!

"It's not really goodbye, after all."

I feel like I have to do a little thing to close all this out. "Little thing" here meaning "movie review."

I don't want to say too much since I'm already one of those a-holes who spoils movies (sorry, Michael!), but I will say the following:

-It was REALLY good. Such an awesome ending to a phenomenal film series.

-Did it do the book justice? The parts included in the film were definitely done amazingly well. They did leave out some major plotpoints (or at least they were major in my mind). I understand that there just simply isn't time to cram everything into a movie though, so given what they had to work with, yes, absolutely, they did a wonderful job. You really need to read the books though.

-Professor McGonagall is a BAMF. She kind of kept herself on the DL for the last few movies being all like

but then she BROUGHT IT in this one. And it's even more touching because Dame Maggie Smith has been battling cancer throughout the filming of the last few movies. And she OWNED. So mad props to her.

-That being said, ALL THE AWARDS TO ALAN RICKMAN. ALL OF THEM. The HP movie franchise has never won an Oscar, which is like "okay whatevs," but omg, Alan Rickman, you wrecked my heart (apparently his performance generated some Oscar buzz. So ironic, because he's been in some of the most iconic films ever, and "greasy-haired, hook-nosed Professor Snape" might get him an Oscar nod.). The Prince's Tale was done, in my opinion, in a heartbreakingly perfect way. I bawled. Thank GOD no one sat next to me. This, to me, is like the whole story of Harry Potter. I mean, there's the "kill Voldemort" bit and all that, but this just adds something to the story (SOMETHING LITERARY) that makes it like, "whoa." So anyway, well done on that.


-Was it epic enough? Um, yes. For those of you who disliked the world's longest camping trip Part 1, this should more than make up for it. It literally starts right in the middle of the action. There's way less emotional drama crap and, actually, very little "sitting around and discussing things" (which is almost always for the audience's benefit). But yes, definitely a perfect climax. And plenty emotional for the pathos-addicts among us.

-I feel like I need to give a nod to the actors and actresses who played the Weasley's and the Malfoy's, too. Kudos, Weasley fam, for making us believe that you guys were crazy close-knit (Julie Walters, Rupert Grint, and Oliver Phelps, you guys were amazing) and that this battle (I am so struggling to not be spoileriffic here!) tore your family apart. Awesome job.
And Helen McCrory did an awesome job as Narcissa Malfoy. I've always loved her portrayal of Narcissa (and Mrs. Radcliffe in Becoming Jame. Anyone? Anyone?) because she gave her the level of complexity I feel her character deserves. The moment when she lies to Voldemort is the turning point of the whole Malfoy family. That being said, I so wish they'd gotten their more redemptive moment. But I've waxed eloquent about this before and will shut up before I've wasted three paragraphs on something nobody else cares about.

-Also, how about that awkward moment when Voldemort tries to hug you?

My whole theatre erupted in laughter. Oh, Tom Felton. I think I love you.

-THE EPILOGUE. I'm trying very hard not to spoil this for people who haven't read the book or seen the movie yet, but I'm not sure how I feel about this. I mean, granted, if it were up to me, none of those people would've ended up with each other (which is why if I'd written the books, about 30 people would've read them). But those are just semantics. I loved it in the book, and I'm not sure how I felt about it on screen. Daniel Radcliffe was the only one who looked somewhat age-appropriate. Rupert Grint, Bonnie Wright, and Emma Watson all looked the same to me. And then there's the issue of Draco Malfoy suddenly being 1000 years old. He's seriously like a walking fossil. Wtf, makeup department? The kiddies were cute though, and I LOVED how they used John Williams' original score from the ending of The Sorcerer's Stone to close out the whole thing. So if for no reason other than an epic music win, I think I liked it.


My TV dinner has now been sitting in the microwave for like, an hour while I wrote this. So I should probably go and get that. But anyway, yes, movie = good, and one of these days I'll post something about my life. Because it's soo interesting and I know you all are absolutely apoplectic with desire to know the scandalicious details of my innermost doings. ;)


What did you think of the HP movie? If you haven't seen it yet, wtf, get off your lazy derrières and go. Tomorrow. Regal Cinemas has $5 Tuesdays, so you have no excuse.