Great White Snark: November 2010

Saturday, November 27, 2010

"How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail..."

It's been a while since I've done one of these and as such, I've compiled quite a list. Whoo, here we go!

-First of all, my cousin's high school is lucky enough to have a Fashion Club and the Fashion Club is lucky enough to have a blog. It's really good, so check it out. If they get enough readership, they get to put on a fashion show, so PLEASE check it out!

-A great list of 100 Christmas Gifts for Her at every price range. Accurate list. And some of these could go to the other sex as well (because who doesn't like hot chocolate and Belgian waffles? HMMM???).

-A cute article on one of the world's (and my!) favorite designers, Betsey Johnson, and her recent birthday. I mean, who doesn't love a 68 year old who rides a pink bike to her own bday party?

-If you're like me and tend to feel a little blue all the time in the winter, here's a good list of things to do to boost your mood. I find #7 to be especially effective...

-A snarky list of 6 Disney Princes We'd Rather Not Date.

-For my gentleman readers (who I have reason to believe outnumber my ladyfolk followers...), here's a decent list of 9 Things Every Guy Should Own. I tend to agree, except cashmere is expensive. You can sometimes get it at a steal at places like Kohl's, Target, and TJ Maxx, but otherwise, a nice soft sweater is just fine. :)

-I secretly wish I owned this van.

-Also, here's a pic of a pug jedi. ♥ ♥ ♥

-Vintage Star Wars Merch Ads. SO COOL!

-Star Wars Sandwich Cutters are always an appropriate gift. Who doesn't want a Millennium Falcon PB&J? ANSWER ME THIS.

-An interesting and far too in-depth analysis of The Complex and Terrifying Reality of Star Wars Fandom, in which the author contends that Star Wars fans do not actually love Star Wars, but rather hate it and love the idea of Star Wars. Worth a read, just for the "?s" and the lulz. Thoughts?

-Last Star Wars link, I promise! There's a project going on to save the original Lars homestead. You know, the igloo in the desert? It's getting all nasty and weather-beaten and it will soon be gone forever, so if you're a misanthropist, animal-hater, don't care about the environment, but LOVE Star Wars, you could make a Christmas donation here (instead of at a legit, life-saving charity).

-A friend of mine with a Fantastical blog shared this vid on Facebook. IT LOOKS SO GOOD:

Oh, how the little nerd inside me rejoices!

-And finally, a hilarious list of Reasons Why Teachers Drink.

Whew! Told you it was a big list! I hope you all had a lovely Holiday and enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!

(Or "Pugsgiving" if you're so inclined.)

I just really like that line of poetry by Rita Dove from her poem "Testimonial." Fortunately, I know the names of some of my blessings. Here they are:

My awesome family. Bixby. Friends: Bethany, Ryan, Meagan, Elizabeth, Sean, Athia, Anna, Francesco, Schuyler, Brian, Christine, Cody/Aubri/Audi and all the "B's," and everyone else who's been there to chat, listen, and make me smile. MY HOUSE. It's amazing how you can take things like running water, working appliances (MICROWAVE FTW), and a table to eat at for granted. My bedroom, and on that note, my dream bedding, which I now own. Tuberose. The Beatles. Fun soaps. Imagination. Strawberries. Imagination. Books and reading in general (special mention to Arthur Conan Doilies who, even though I have a love/hate relationship with, did in fact create Sherlock Holmes). Music. Singing. Fluffy pillows and cozy blankets. Purses! Perfume. The color black. Sherman. Animals in general. Clearly they're a good idea since God made them first. The ocean. Living in Florida, where there's no snow, no rusty cars, and the beach is 45 minutes away at all times. Cuppycakes. Shopping. The internets. The readers of my blog. Sparkly things. Being a girl in general. Joan Jett. Dancing. Vanilla milkshakes. Intelligence. Self-worth. Inspiration. Love.

Also, if you're participating in Black Friday, BE SAFE (physically, financially...emotionally?)! I always kind of picture it like this:

And no, even though shopping is probably my all-time favorite thing to do, I don't and won't be going out tomorrow. Let me know how it is!

Mostly, I hope you all have a wonderful, beautiful Thanksgiving and are able to enjoy good food and the company of people you love. :)

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Just in case you don't get told enough.

I very honestly, sincerely, truly believe this, because those of you who know me know I don't post crap on my blog.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Sunday, November 21, 2010

"To the winner goes the spoils."

I was absolutely not intending to do a post this weekend. But then I had an amazing shopping win and couldn't help it.

I got these earrings at Plato's for $8, which is admittedly steep for USED earrings. But they had absolutely no wear, and I like this kind of clasp best (it's the most comfortable) and the crowns were too cute to pass up. So I snapped them up.

Then, I was in Dillards and saw them and realized two very important things:
1. They are Betsey Johnson.
2. They retail at FORTY DOLLARS.

Suddenly, $8 is a great deal, right? :DDDD


PS: I soaked them in alcohol. Just in case.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Wit and Wisdom from my mother.

This really begs the question:

(ETA: This vid shared with me by the illustrious Meagan Ireland.

All of those are for realsies. Idek.

On another note, someone shared this in class the other day and it's too good to keep all to myself.

Happy Weekend, Dearest Readers!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

"She changed the hours and set the fashions."

It's okay, RDJ. This is about how I feel about books right now too.

Life has been hectic lately, but good. This is probably the busiest time of the year for us students (at least for me!) what with finals and research papers and due dates all looming ominously on the horizon. But really, about three more weeks and we're DONE with another semester. ROCK ON!

Right now, I am so sick of reading. I always maintain that being an English major is like being force-fed. Eating in itself is really enjoyable, when you're forced to do it it's uncomfortable and sickening. Reading becomes like that. But I've never really been put off enough by it to give it up altogether, which leads me to believe that I chose the right degree. Even though I'm killing myself working, at least it's work that I do, somewhere deep down, enjoy.

In other news, OUR HOUSE IS FINISHED!!!! After FOUR MONTHS of living out of Michael's bathroom and various boxes, setting up an impromptu kitchen in the living room, coin laundry and eating out for EVERY EFFING MEAL, our house is FINALLY finished! We're in the process of unpacking and rearranging all of our stuff, so once that's done I will DEFINITELY be posting pics. To be fair, it really does look gorgeous. It's my Mom's dream kitchen now. She maintains that she can't sell the house because she'll never have a kitchen this nice ever again. And she's probably right. Home-owner's insurance is a bitch, but it's worth it sometimes.
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^^ How I looked first time I saw the new kitchen/my bathroom...
...and this is how I felt using my OWN SHOWER. However. Big shoutout to Michael for letting me invade and use his bathroom and not complaining ONCE. My bro is a BOSS.

I also really wanted to write this book review, because I just read this book and it was INCREDIBLE.

Georgiana: Duchess of Devonshire, by Amanda Foreman

Fans of film, costume-dramas, and Keira Knightley might remember when a film of the same title came out a couple years ago. Well, this is the book that inspired the movie. And all of it is TRUE.

Those of you who know me know that I pretty much avoid nonfiction like the plague. However, variety is the spice of life, and if there are two things I almost never mind reading about it's the British monarchy and 18th-19th century history. Lady Georgiana Spencer (as in, ancestor to Princess Diana) made an extremely fortuitous match when she married the Duke of Devonshire, thereby becoming the Duchess. This book chronicles her time as Duchess and uses a wealth of historical evidence (letters, newspapers, etc.) to validate the events. We're taken through Georgiana's time as leader of the most fashionable clique in London, to fashion maven (often hailed as the British Marie Antoinette. And on that note...), to her friendship with Marie Antoinette up until her execution, and most interestingly, her marriage.

Unable to produce a son, the Duke became very frustrated with the Duchess. He had multiple mistresses, a common occurrence for nobility. But the cruelty with which he treats his wife is the stuff of reality TV. Then, as if that's not Jersey Shore enough for you, he shacks up with his wife's bff. He STEALS her best friend, and impregnates her, siring illegitimate children. The best friend (Lady Elizabeth "Bess" Foster) eventually moves in with the pair, and the three live together in a menage a trois, both women sharing the Duke. It is MESSED. UP.

And then, get this. The Duke has had all these illicit liasons with various women. Well, Georgiana has ONE affair, gets pregnant, and the Duke LOSES IT. He banishes her, Bess, her mother, and sister into exile for TWO YEARS while the child is born, and he can't decide whether he wants to take her back or not. After fathering I think three illegit kids himself, he punishes his wife (and his children with her) by banishing her from England. IT'S INSANE. He finally relents and lets her come home, but mostly because he misses Bess, not Georgiana.

Also, despite her enormous income, she fell deeply (roughly $6 million by today's standards) into debt due to gambling. It's a really fascinating and horrible view into her decline into bankruptcy.

Through it all, Georgiana makes incredible strides for a woman living in the 1700's. She becomes more popular in the public than her husband. She makes daring fashion statements, and according to one piece of press, "Whatever the Duchess wears tonight, the rest of the town will be wearing tomorrow." Furthermore, and most importantly in my opinion, she carved a place out for herself in the uproarious British politics of the time. She campaigned with her favored political leaders (unheard of for women at the time), camped out with the British troops during times of war, and hosted meetings for the Whig Party at Devonshire House, making her an invaluable assett to the Whig party. It was said that "the Duke is the only man in England NOT in love with his wife." The politicians loved her, enemies feared her influence, and she was well-loved by everyone who met her, despite the enormous amount of personal tragedy she endured.

Overall, this book was AMAZING. It's like, 500 pages and I finished it in about 3 days. I could NOT put it down. It's nonfiction that reads like fiction, and I'd recommend it to just about everyone. It's extremely fascinating, especially when you consider today's political climate, and the fact that "the good ol' days" were far from the high-collared, moral era we often think them to be. As said in Georgiana's obituary, "She changed the hours and set the fashions...She had an uncommon gracefulness in her air rather than her figure; and appeared always to act entirely from the impression of the moment."

Georgiana depicted as the goddess Diana.

Apparently, the artist did this painting three times and claimed at the finished product that he simply couldn't capture the Duchess's likeness on canvas. This portrait caused an obsession with Georgiana among the people; women rushed to their milliners to have them copy the hat. I personally love her sardonic smirk, raised eyebrow, and the way the hat sits at a rakish angle. What a badass.

You can look at 100+ stills from the movie here (I LOVE this blog...take a look around if you have the time!). SO PRETTY!

That's all. Whew!

Monday, November 15, 2010

Certain as the sun...

I've been kind of in a Disney/fairy tale mood lately, so I decided to share this awesome Disney ad campaign with you. I absolutely LOVE these shots, and it's a really fascinating concept, casting well-known faces as our favorite Disney characters. While some of the choices elude me, overall, I quite like it.

Scarlet Johansen as Cinderella.

Rachel Weiss as Snow White.

Julie Andrews as the Blue Fairy (Pinnochio) and Abigail Breslin as Fira from the Disney Fairies.

Julianne Moore as Ariel, the Little Mermaid.

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony as Jasmine and Aladdin.

Whoopi Goldberg as the Genie.

Roger Federer as King Arthur.

Jessica Biel as Pocahontas.

Giselle Bundchen as Wendy, Mikhail Baryshnikov as Peter Pan, and Tina Fey as Tinker Bell.

David Beckham as Prince Phillip from Sleeping Beauty.

Beyonce as Alice, Oliver Platt as the Mad Hatter, and Lyle Lovett as the March Hare.

All pictures from Disney's "Year of a Million Dreams" ad campaign, photographed by the illustrious Annie Leibovitz.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Sara Crewe.

This is one of the most quotable books of all time. End of story.

Friday, November 12, 2010

I look at all the NOSY people.

I feel like Edward Scissorhands a lot.

To my Nosy Neighbors: While I find it flattering that I am the topic of your conversation (even if such conversation is vicious and fictitious; I've always maintained it's better to be talked about, even negatively, than ignored completely), please keep your noses out of my business. I must, however, congratulate you on your creativity. How utterly imaginative of you to suspect that the scratches and dents on my car are the result of some wreckless collegiate driving, or a possible DUI. However, I must insist that to be truly imaginative, you need to suspend disbelief. Therefore, your story isn't even probable, because I'm responsible, a teetotaler, and the victim of a hit-and-run.

To the Men Working in my House: I can't really nag at you too much, I suppose, since you're being paid to be here and you are fixing my house. However. Please keep your conjectures about my whereabouts and activities to yourselves. Or if you must discuss, have the decency to do so out of earshot. Which would be off my property (sitting on a smoke break beneath my window doesn't count). I do not, contrary to popular belief, simply lie in bed all day, only leaving to go clothes shopping. I am up every morning at 7:30, whenceupon I walk my dog, breakfast, and get dressed. I usually, at that point, start doing something mildly productive. The reason you haven't seen me leaving this week is that I've been quite sick with a disgusting head cold. If you'd shut your mouths and OBSERVE something for a change, you might've noticed. And just because I stay upstairs, out of your way, doesn't mean that I lie in bed for hours and hours. I've been working on a paper discussing the symbolic settings of Bronte novels in tandem with Freud's psychoanalytic literary theories (namely those of dreams and suppressed vs. manifested meanings). So please. Quit telling my mother that she ought to get me out of bed. I wasn't there to begin with.

To Acquaintances Who Question Every Motive: In this age of information, I have a Facebook, a Twitter and a blog. If I wanted to publicize every iota of my life, I'm sure I could find a means of doing so.

Guys. I appreciate the fact that I'm so incredibly fascinating that you can't help discussing me every second of your mundane lives. But really? GIVE IT A REST AND LEAVE ME ALONE.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Just a victim of circumstance.

I absolutely love Joan Jett. She is one of my favorite musicians and seems like an all around awesome human being. I bought a greatest hits CD of hers a while back (right after graduating high school) and it remains one of the only CD's I can listen to start to finish and really love every single song. That NEVER happens. Also, her songs are relevant to everything all the time. Like, every time something happens, there's a Joan Jett song for that.

I also love that her original work is awesome, but where she excels is covers. It's hard to be a decent cover artist without totally raping the original version. Joan manages to cover songs, maintain the original integrity of the work, and add her own flare and distinctive style to every song she does (as evidenced above).


Also, she's apparently ageless.

Songs I recommend: Crimson and Clover, Everyday People, I Hate Myself (for Loving You), Run Away, Little Liar, Do You Wanna Touch, School Days, Fake Friends, Cherry Bomb, Victim of Circumstance, World of Denial, Love is All Around

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

"Life is infinitely stranger than anything which the mind of man could invent."


Also, I have a cold and I feel generally crummy, which is dreadful when you're trying to beat that mad school rush before Thanksgiving and ultimately finals. I guess the good thing is that this cold came at a perfect time: two of my classes were cancelled this week and Veteran's Day means I have Thursday off anyway. So I'm really only missing like three classes of any importance.

Oh, also, I cannot WAIT until we have our house back. Fish and company stink after three days, and while the workers aren't exactly company (and they don't really stink, either...), I'd like for them to go away so I can walk around the house without feeling like I'm being watched.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Pretty things.

I've been in one of these moods lately. I just like to look at pics of pretty places and imagine I'm sitting in them. :)