"I am no bird, and no net ensnares me."

{Illustration by Dame Darcy for Spanish edition of Jane Eyre.}

I know I've used the Groucho Marx quote "Outside of a dog, books are man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read," before. It's just a brilliant quote. And then, it's also the inspiration for the title of a book I'm going to review.


Bethany got me this book for Christmas. At first I was like, "meh" because I don't tend to like nonfiction. But the subject matter is definitely relevant to my interests, so I gave it a shot.

Overall, this is DEFINITELY worth reading, especially (or perhaps, particularly) if you have a dog. Part of what made this feel less clinical was the fact that I could read something and be like, "Oh, (insertnamehere) does this!" I also like that Horowitz debunks the wolf-pack explanation that's been defacto since about the 60's or 70's. She uses fresh, recent and credible research (her own and others') to uncover why dogs do what they do and how we can understand them better.

The key word of the whole thing is "umwelt," which luckily I've dealt with before in lit (my major wasn't totally useless! I felt all excited because I UNDERSTOOD SCIENCE. This is a big deal to people like me. HOORAY, SELF!). But basically, Horowitz breaks down how dogs experience the world.

Most of it was stuff I knew--dogs are olfactory creatures, they are dependent on attention, etc.--but it was the depth to which she explained these things that was interesting. Like, how dogs can smell age. I had NO idea, but apparently this is fact and what makes them good trackers; they can smell decay, so they track the scent of decay.

Anyway, it's very clinical and definitely scientific (it reads like a long research paper). At least, in my mind it was super sciencey. To someone who does science all the time, it's probably simple. Despite its jargon and analytic tone, it's accessible. I mean, I got it. So you can, too. And anyone with a dog will appreciate the inside look at their best friends. So do I recommend it? Yes. To anyone with a dog. If you're dogless, not only am I deeply sorry, but you probably won't find the motivation to read this in its entirety.


Also, this:

I already kind of rec'd this in my last post, but this book was SO good. I couldn't put it down. I finished it within 24 hours, finishing it in the wee hours. It was amazing. The Bronte family is just fascinating. This is a fact-based, fictionalized account of how the publication of Jane Eyre affected the Bronte family--most particularly Charlotte but it does mention her father, Anne, Emily and Branwell at length, which is great. Diminutive Charlotte and nearly-mad Emily always tend to take the spotlight (plus their books are the most famous), but the insight into the other members of the Bronte family was really interesting.

Do you have to have read Jane Eyre? Not necessarily, but it CERTAINLY helps. The author tends to switch tenses and scenes a lot, so one minute Charlotte is nursing her ill father and the next Jane is in Lowood. So it helps to know the story (having read The Professor and Wuthering Heights would be helpful too). Anyway, anyone who likes Jane Eyre and the Bronte family should DEFINITELY read this book.



That's all. How boring am I becoming? I'm literally on countdown for school to start. CAN'T WAIT.


And that's sad.


Oh, here's this:

EVERYDAY I'M SHUFFLING.

We were born and raised in a summer haze.

I heard this song on the radio this evening on the way home from the gym, and it just really struck me. Not sure why since it's not exactly relevant to me, but it just really hit a chord. I wanted to share.

Also, I'm reading this book, and I cannot recommend it enough for fans of Bronte and Jane Eyre. If you were in my Bronte class with me, you NEED to read this, guys. For reals. And for everyone else, you just should read it because it's really engrossing and awesome.

"How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail..."

It's been a while since I've done one of these and as such, I've compiled quite a list. Whoo, here we go!



-First of all, my cousin's high school is lucky enough to have a Fashion Club and the Fashion Club is lucky enough to have a blog. It's really good, so check it out. If they get enough readership, they get to put on a fashion show, so PLEASE check it out!

-A great list of 100 Christmas Gifts for Her at every price range. Accurate list. And some of these could go to the other sex as well (because who doesn't like hot chocolate and Belgian waffles? HMMM???).

-A cute article on one of the world's (and my!) favorite designers, Betsey Johnson, and her recent birthday. I mean, who doesn't love a 68 year old who rides a pink bike to her own bday party?

-If you're like me and tend to feel a little blue all the time in the winter, here's a good list of things to do to boost your mood. I find #7 to be especially effective...

-A snarky list of 6 Disney Princes We'd Rather Not Date.

-For my gentleman readers (who I have reason to believe outnumber my ladyfolk followers...), here's a decent list of 9 Things Every Guy Should Own. I tend to agree, except cashmere is expensive. You can sometimes get it at a steal at places like Kohl's, Target, and TJ Maxx, but otherwise, a nice soft sweater is just fine. :)

-I secretly wish I owned this van.

-Also, here's a pic of a pug jedi. ♥ ♥ ♥

-Vintage Star Wars Merch Ads. SO COOL!

-Star Wars Sandwich Cutters are always an appropriate gift. Who doesn't want a Millennium Falcon PB&J? ANSWER ME THIS.

-An interesting and far too in-depth analysis of The Complex and Terrifying Reality of Star Wars Fandom, in which the author contends that Star Wars fans do not actually love Star Wars, but rather hate it and love the idea of Star Wars. Worth a read, just for the "?s" and the lulz. Thoughts?

-Last Star Wars link, I promise! There's a project going on to save the original Lars homestead. You know, the igloo in the desert? It's getting all nasty and weather-beaten and it will soon be gone forever, so if you're a misanthropist, animal-hater, don't care about the environment, but LOVE Star Wars, you could make a Christmas donation here (instead of at a legit, life-saving charity).

-A friend of mine with a Fantastical blog shared this vid on Facebook. IT LOOKS SO GOOD:

Oh, how the little nerd inside me rejoices!

-And finally, a hilarious list of Reasons Why Teachers Drink.
YEAH.


Whew! Told you it was a big list! I hope you all had a lovely Holiday and enjoy the rest of your weekend!

General life update stuff.

Hi, guys!

I know I've been quiet...sporadic at best. There's been a lot going on, most of it school-related. And because of that, I feel like there's very little interesting enough to report on. But I will try my best.

Let's see.

House update! Since the flood (like, 2 months ago), we finally got all the wood floors fixed and redone. The guys who pulled it all up said it was still wet under there, and if we'd waited much longer we would've started growing mold. NO BUENO. Now we're in a hurry to get the kitchen going. Unfortunately, the kitchen is going to be a MAJOR project. The cabinets all need to be ripped out, which means that the appliances, countertops and floors will all need to be removed as well. So basically, once they start working on it, we will have a dusty disaster of a concrete shell where our kitchen used to be. I'm not looking forward to that. I am, however, looking forward to the new kitchen, because even though we weren't planning on renovating the entire thing, the stuff we picked out is going to look wicked sweet.

Mostly though, I'm excited to get my bathroom back. Also needs new tile, cabinetry and plumbing (since that was the root of all this evil). Michael's been exceedingly patient and generous, letting me use his. I owe him BIG TIME. Once things get going and are a little more settled, I'll post pics of our renovations.

I've been looking for a puse like this one

because I love the stripes and the bow. SO Tim Burtony!!! It would be perfect for fall and stuff. Alas, it's a Lulu Guinness, which means it's €225 (roughly 350 US dollars). Soooo that's not going to happen. But I'm looking for an affordable alternative and if I come up with one, you will be the first to know. Naturally, what will happen, is in about two years vertical black and white stripes will be the trendiest thing ever and they'll be everywhere. Once I'm done needing it NOW. This is always how it is.

Hmm, what am I reading? I'm in the process of my third read of Jane Eyre. I adore that book. It gets better every time you read it. There is so much to say about it...mostly, I love Rochester (even though according to Bronte, he looks like this.). He's the typical Byronic hero. Whereas my last professor who taught Jane Eyre focused on it as a feminist novel, this professor raised an interesting point I hadn't thought of before: the story is equally about Jane and Rochester. While we see the journey from Jane's POV, Rochester is on an equally harsh journey, perhaps even moreso than Jane. While she struggles with personal vs. societal identity, Rochester has to come to terms with who he is, what he's lost, and if there's any hope for regaining himself and his hopes in the future. I really wish there was a Jane Eyre from his POV. It'd be very interesting. Probably moreso than Jane's. Especially when she wanders around the moors, gets "brain fever," and shacks up with her weirdo preacher cousin. While all that's happening, Rochester is battling his CLINICALLY INSANE WIFE IN THE ATTIC and escaping his burning manor home. And pining after Jane, even though he's old enough to be her father. And he gets deformed.

It's SO GOOD. Read it or buy it. Ninety-nine cents. You officially have no excuse.

Short Stories I'd Recommend
This week's list is short because we kind of read a lot of Kafka, and I could never recommend Kafka (if he's your thing, go for it! But I don't care for him and thus, won't rec him). I only have three, but they're good:


1."A Good Man is Hard to Find," by Flannery O'Connor.
In which a judgmental old grandmother ultimately leads her family to their unfortunate demise--ON VACATION. Also, the first line is awesome, but I'm probably biased. They SHOULD have gone to Florida!


2. "A&P" by John Updike.
Updike is probably one of the greatest short story writers ever to live, and this story is pretty clever. I really like how honest it is. Even though the narrator comes off as a stupid, sexist teenaged guy, it's an extremely honest narrative told from said narrator's POV. I liked it.



3. "The Cask of Amontillado," by Edgar Allan Poe.
I mentioned before that "The Lottery" vies for my #1 best short story place. This is the story it competes with. This tale is so utterly Poe-like. The setting, the names...it's loaded with irony and Poe's sick little twisted sense of humor. And per usual, Poe, the master wordsmith, weaves this tale together perfectly. It's chilling and awesome. READ IT NOW.


Sorry I don't have more interesting things to write. That's always a good sign to me that I'm spending too much time looking in and back, and not enough time looking out and around. It's good, these reminders. It's good to get things back into perspective and realize there's a whole, hilarious world out there for us to explore. Why waste it with worries? :)

"I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will."

So, I didn't finish my Fall Fashion Series.

BOO!

But I will. I just haven't been in the mood. This is why I'm a shite journalist--I only write about what I want to write about when I feel like writing it. Bad for business...but I guess it's a good thing I'm not getting paid for this. =)

Classes have been going well. I'm in a couple of classes I love: Practical Criticism, which is basically just a course in close-reading, and British Authors, which focuses exclusively on Emily and Charlotte Bronte this semester. The class usually focuses on Oscar Wilde (CAN YOU IMAGINE?!?), so I was a little bothered that I missed a semester of Wilde. But I do love the Brontes, so it's not that big of a disappointment.

We've just finished our first novel, The Secret.


It's a series of short stories that Charlotte wrote when she was 14. Here's the deal: the Brontes had a miserable life. There were six originally, but the eldest two sisters died at ages 11 and 10 (due to malnourishment, cold, and horrid diseases contracted at an all-girls boarding school. Jane Eyre, anyone??), which left Branwell (the only son), Charlotte, Emily and Anne. To entertain themselves in the dismal hell-hole that was 19th century Yorkshire, they wrote stories in serialized format, like a magazine. Charlotte and Branwell formed a team, and Emily and Anne formed another team, and then the pairs would switch each week, reading the other set's stories. Which is pretty clever. But anyway, all the stories in The Secret take place in Charlotte's imaginary world of Verdopolis. It's a poorly kept secret that the Bronte's indulged in imaginary play until their mid to late twenties, earning them the label of insane. But Verdopolis is one of those worlds.

Emily and Charlotte were the two who most indulged in their worlds of Verdopolis, Angria and Gondal. As children, they based the characters off a set of twelve toy soldiers that their father bought for Branwell. They wrote the stories on these itty bitty little books the size of MATCHBOXES. INSANE.



The Angria manuscripts to scale. TINY.

Anyway, The Secret was fascinating. Here's the synopsis, per Amazon:

A rollicking adventure from the Brontës’ imagined kingdom of Verdopolis, The Secret is a novel of intrigue, duplicity, and all-conquering love.

Arthur, the Marquis of Douro, his beautiful wife, Marion, and their infant son lead a happy and carefree existence in the city of Verdopolis—until a chance encounter brings the youthful Marchioness’ childhood governess back into their lives. The meeting proves to be the catalyst for an increasingly tortuous series of events involving blackmail, imposture, and shocking revelations regarding the birth of the young Marchioness. Will the Marquis ever forgive his wife her secret?


The synopsis is accurate. It's a great story; very interesting and one of those "whoa, what's going to happen next?" The only place it lacks is character development. However, considering that she was only fourteen, I am blown away by the quality of her writing. Holding it next to the crap I wrote at fourteen makes me look legally retarded. It's extremely interesting, and I'd love to read the rest of the Tales of Angria. She writes her world of Verdopolis and the Glass City with the mastery of myth-makers. She bestows a mythic, legendary, god-like feel to her characters. They become identifiable in the way that Hermes and Hera are (her heroine always wears flowers in her hair and has hazel eyes and a pet dove; the villainess always wears black and red velvet and black plumage in her hair. Even without naming them, the reader recognizes them when they appear.). It's fascinating, and worth a read. It's a quick, easy read too. I think I spent probably an hour and a half total reading the entirety of the book. DEFINITELY recommend it.


The Bronte family, purportedly drawn by Branwell. From L-R: Emily, Charlotte, Branwell and Anne.

Short Stories Read This Semester So Far That I'd Recommend:

1. "A Rose for Emily," by William Faulkner. This is probably my second favorite short story ever written. I LOVE it. It is utterly creeptacular, and so well-written. Also (SPOILER ALERT!), it's about necrophilia, and you don't find that out until the last sentence. AWESOME.




2. "A Jury of Her Peers" by Susan Glaspell. In which men (who are busy doing and accomplishing things) fail to solve the crime because they don't pay attention to things like knitting needles and fruit preserves. Trust: nosy woman neighbors know the deets. Leave it to them, mmkay?


3. "Young Goodman Brown" by Nathaniel Hawthorne. I'm not a Hawthorne fan, but this story about literally and figuratively losing Faith in a devil ritual in the woods of Salem made me think and was generally pretty awesome.


4. "Hills Like White Elephants" by Ernest Hemingway. Epitome of Hemingway's "iceberg" style of storytelling. Spoiler alert: it's about an abortion. Pretty much ingenius.


5. "The Lottery" by Shirley Jackson. Vies for my number one favorite short story spot just because it's SO GOOD and so unexpected. If you read ANY of these stories, READ THIS ONE!!!


That's it. Sorry if you don't like lit and reading. No, I'm not. That's your problem. Read "The Lottery." It might change your mind. :)