Great White Snark: May 2010

Friday, May 28, 2010



I HAD to. Don't hate on me for the bad language. It's a SPOOF, you guys. Wikipedia it. Besides. It's RELEVANT.

I'll be back June 6th after sailing the seas to San Juan, St. Thomas and St. Maarten!




Dread Pirate Tyra Pictures, Images and Photos










And finally, I have NO idea what's happening in this gif, but it's possibly my favorite one EVER. It just looks SO EPIC.

Have an awesome week, guys! I'll be back with so many pics you'll wish I had fallen overboard. With my camera. *_~

Thursday, May 27, 2010

In continuation...

Work was fine. I had missed it (the work) and didn't realize it until I was back in there doing it. There's something comforting about being surrounded by work that's familiar, that my fingers remember even when my mind isn't focused. It's also comforting being absolutely surrounded by cute clothes. *_*

As always, it's hard being the new girl, especially when you're predisposed to being a bit quiet and awkward. But the great immutable rule about newness is that it always fades. Give it time, and I think I'll be quite content.

In other news, here are a couple outfits I have planned for the cruise!

Here's what I'm wearing for the drive to Ft. Lauderdale and boarding the ship.

Just something casual and comfy. And wearing the hat so it doesn't get smooshed in my suitcase.

Here's my outfit for formal night:

I'm REALLY excited about it. There is so little occasion to get well and truly fancied up once you're done with dances and stuff. So I'm pretty stoked to get pretty for a night. THE DRESS I got at Ross for $19 (even though it was on ModCloth for $63! SCORE!). I'm super excited because it's flattering. And I like it.

It's gonna be FIERCE.
Fierce Tyra Gif Pictures, Images and Photos

First day at a new-ish job!


Today's my first day at the new Plato's job. Even though I've worked for a Plato's before, I'm as nervous as a whore in chuch.

Update later. XDDD

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Feed the birds.

I'd like to introduce you to my neighbors.

Allow me to introduce the resident blue jay, who calls himself Julius Jagger (yes, as in Mick from the Rolling Stones). I've heard his true name is unpronouncable, so predictably, he went with a "J" name. He's the rockstar of the neighborhood. He's as proud of his plumage as he is messy and loud. When he's feeding, all others best stay away until he's finished. Even the squirrels defer to his charisma. Dustie and Renica (below) will sometimes sit on the ground nearby, gossipping and eating what food he drops. I think they're fangirls. He loves it.

Bartholomew Wallingsford is a red-winged blackbird. He's very mysterious. He often keeps to himself and feeds alone. The other birds (save the cardinals) seem leery of him, perhaps because of his dark color and seemingly dark nature. He's often associated with Grackles (aka: your common blackbirds), but he's clearly not. He's got the red badge of courage, a family crest...all of that.

I can't tell if this is Sasha or Sinead...I call them Sasha and Sinead Thrasher, even though I don't know if they're actually sisters. They're new here. What I do know is that Sasha and Sinead have taken up residence in a bush at the front of the house, and both of them have built nests in the bush. It's extremely unusual for two birds to nest in such close proximity. Both are Brown Thrashers, but whether they're sisters or close roomates remains to be revealed.

Here's Sasha's nest. She hasn't laid her eggs yet. Neither has Sinead, but her nest is a few branches over. They're EXTREMELY protective. They holler and flap their wings in your face if you get too close! I hope my taking pictures didn't scare her and Sinead off to nest someplace else. It'd be so exciting to have baby Thrashers!

This is Mr. Sebastian Redfeather. His wife, Carlotta, isn't pictured but she's usually at the feeder with him. They talk to Dustie and Renica (below), and occasionally Bartholomew when he's feeling greagarious.

These are Dustie and Renica, two girl mourning doves who just sit around ad gossip all day whilst eating seed. They're incredibly nosy and know everything about everyone. Despite that, they're very skittish and mostly keep their secrets to themselves.

Dustie's more the ham of the two. As evidenced by her dancing feet:


This is my favorite. His name is Sir Tucker Twittercheep. He's a tufted titmouse, and very shy, but he occasionally frequents my window feeder to say "Good evening," when Millie's squirrel has abandoned its post (it has seriously moved onto my windowsill. It sleeps there and everything.). He's extremely chivalrous and is often off doing other noble deeds. Very shy, but most regal. I'm honored by his presence.

Those are my neighbors! I'm hoping to have a painted bunting and perhaps some goldfinches move in sometime. Even though finch season is over. Sometimes there are still stragglers as late as June. :)

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Gratuitous lizard sex.

I always feel bad when I get to my car and this is happening on it. Like maybe I should just come back later when they're done. I'd certainly hate to be in their position(s) and have someone be like, "Excuse me, I need to go someplace, could you please move?" Although I doubt very highly I would engage in such activities on top of someone's primary mode of transportation. Still.

Monday, May 24, 2010

"He looks miserable, poor soul."

"Miserable he may be, but poor he most certainly is not."
-Pride and Prejudice (2005)

This quote is how I feel about Robert Pattinson. I do not think he's drop-dead sexy. His hair scares me. I do like his voice/accent though. ANYWAY, this is tragic.

Watch from 0:55-1:34. OMG CREEPY KIDS.

His whole life is ruined. The above macro is probably accurate. I want to send him away. To like, Siberia or something, for life rehab. Just so he can go outside without getting mobbed. Although with his luck there'd be some vicious family of polar bears who are MAD about Twilight and he'd get mauled to death. Better by polar bears than by small shrieking teenaged girls.

On a totally unrelated note, here's one of the best music videos of all time (come to think about it, Robert Pattinson should make this his new life anthem).

LOL this is classic.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Good day, Sunshine.

In one week I will be here:

San Juan, Puerto Rico

...via this ship:

I am very excited. Last year was extremely difficult for me and my family for a myriad of reasons and we haven't really gone anywhere vacation-wise together in YEARS. With Michael potentially leaving us next year for the Naval Academy or Notre Dame, this is probably going to be one of our last family vacations. It already means a lot to me, and we haven't even been yet. Let's hope I didn't just hex it.

Also, I got a job! At Plato's!!! This is the second time I'll be working for Plato's Closet, so I'm pretty excited. Although I'll be working at a different location and for a different manager/owner, I hope the experience will be a positive one.

In other news I'm itching to write. I think I need to start more consistent journaling again. I mean, I keep a journal. But mostly I just write in it when I'm too furious or emo sad to write about it comfortably on here. It's a pretty negative book, actually. I should probably write in more detail and regularity. It's always a good jumping-off point for writing other things.

And finally, I'd just like to point out that my friends and I are unintentionally awesome.

Everyone laughed at me for this stupid pose, BUT ROBERT DOWNEY JR. DOES THE SAME THING. Nevermind that I am not a martial artist nor am I an actor. IRREVELANT.

Also, my besties are Luke and Leia. You SHOULD be jealous (does this make me Han? Or R2-D2???).

Have a lovely week, dearest readers. I'm sure you'll be hearing more from me. :)

Friday, May 21, 2010

Who built the ark?

So at the top there's like this toolbar and one of the keys is "Next Blog." Out of curiosity I hit it and here's what I discovered:

1. There are an inordinate amount of blogs about babies.
2. There are an inordinate amount of babies named Noah.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. I mean, Noah pretty much had my dream job (go on a cruise, play with animals). But I think I hopped on the wrong train. Perhaps blogger is for mommies and Tumblr is for the image-heavy hipster blogs. Isn't there something in between??

{My first choice was livejournal, but no one does anything on there anymore.}

NOAH??? WHY. If we're going with Biblical names, why not do Jehoshabeath (except for the fact that, y'know, people can PRONOUNCE "Noah")?

That is all. I'll write something more coherent/relevant later. :)

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.

Oh man, yesterday was one of those days where I feel like everything happened and then I wonder why it can't all be spread out over a number of days. Alas, it seems that eventfulness likes to happen all at once instead of evenly. Kind of like when you hit the 57 on the ketchup bottle in desperation only to receive a veritable deluge of ketchup.


First of all I had an interview at a mall store that shall remain unnamed.

See what I did there?

It's so silly. They take their job SO SERIOUSLY and, I kid you not, described the store as "the leading emporium in the lingerie and brasierre industry." I was struggling to keep it together. One moment, please: BRASIERRE??? Nobody under the age of 150 SAYS that. It's a BRA. We all call them bras. Also, I didn't realize applying for the job would mean that my ultimate goal was not to make money, but rather to become, exact words, a "bra expert." There are many things I wouldn't mind becoming an expert on. Women's underthings are not one of them.

If I was a sixteen year old guy, perhaps my thoughts would be different.

Then someone got arrested in my front yard. It was highly exciting. My mom and I sneakily watched the whole thing for about an hour and a half through half-shut blinds. Apparently, this kid came in on a bicycle with the intent to burglarize cars and houses. The police apprehended his backpack, which was full of tools to do so (a crowbar, screwdrivers, wire cutters, etc.), and he tried to convince the police that the tools were so he could fix his bike. Liar. So they arrested him. Apparently there's been a rash of young guys breaking in and stealing stuff in this area. Naturally, this pumped my already high level of paranoia into the realm of ridiculousness. ALAS: BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. Even though sleeping with mace in my bed is probably not safe for me. DOES NOT MATTER. The weird thing is that the police were on their hands and knees in our lawn searching for something. Regrettably, we never found out what they were looking for. At first we theorized that he was in a drug ring and had thrown his stash in our yard (my mom: "We can't let the dogs out! What if they eat pot? OR COCAINE???" Millie always acts high, it's no big deal.). We never figured it out, so I'm very curious.

Also, there were two detectives on the scene. I'd just like to point out that detectives in real life look NOTHING like Sherlock Holmes. Unless Watson was lying and Holmes was actually morbidly obese with a penchant for pleated-front khakis. I doubt this very highly.

Detectives in real life DO NOT EQUAL Sherlock BAMF Holmes, who's knocking over a table and then will blame Watson for it. No lie. That's CANON (The Adventure of the Reigate Squire. One of my favs because there's a bitchy little man who hates Holmes and Holmes is all like, BITCH PLZ, and fakes sick and blames Watson for knocking stuff over. READ IT.).

And then, finally, I came *this* close to my #1 fantasy being played out. After all the excitement, my mom and I took the dogs for a walk (having realized that there probably WEREN'T random hazardous drugs laying around in our grass...). As we're walking, we spot, up by the entrace of the neighborhood, a little dog dashing across the road and going into random people's yards. It was tiny, and it was getting progressively close to Chapman Road, so I ran up to go intercept it before it got smished in traffic. So I'm running (like a retard, btw) and it disappears into someone's backyard. I start whistling and calling for it and it peeps its little head around the corner. I carefully approach it the way you're supposed to approach an unfamiliar dog (not meeting its eyes directly, hand outstretched, palm upwards, speaking softly, etc.) and its little eyes lit up. I could see it was a female Shih Tzu, probably like 3-4 years old, freshly groomed. Once I realized she was freshly groomed, I knew my little fantasy was over. People don't just LOSE $2000 purebred dogs who've been groomed meticulously in the last week. They just don't. So she sees me and approaches all happy and starts kissing my hand. SUCH a sweetie. I get into position to pick her up, scanning her for any injuries (she was collar-less, so I wanted to make sure she wasn't some very fortunate stray), and she totally let me. So then I figured she was definitely tame, and definitely belonged to people. She was SO happy to see me though! It was adorable. And the whole time I'm holding her, she's giving me little kisses. I almost DIED of cuteness. So my Mom and I start knocking door to door to figure out who she belonged to. Turns out it's some neighbor up at the front of the 'hood that I never talk to. He was all like, "AWW! THANK YOU! I didn't even know she was out!" He was really happy and really relieved. So even though my sick little fantasy didn't play out, I was happy. Because he was happy.

It kind of looked like this. Cute, y/y??

Now I figure I've committed my good deed involving a dog. The laws of Karma indicate that something similar must now occur to me in reciprocation.


Tuesday, May 18, 2010

"But she warned him not to be deceived by appearances, for BEAUTY is found within."


1930's-early 1940's

Year unknown, approx. early to mid 1970's

I just wanted to point out that bodies, like fashion, go in and out of style. 100 years ago, bigger was WAY better. 50 years ago, women wanted to look just like Marilyn (who, for the record, was a size 12). Nowadays, models are considered full-figured if they wear larger than a size 6. To all women out there, skinny, curvy or otherwise: you're beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Embrace the you that you are TODAY and realize that nobody has the right to tell you how you SHOULD look. You're meant to look the way you look at your best, brightest and healthiest. Nothing else matters.

Even though she is the epitome of waifish, the beautiful, classic and timeless Audrey Hepburn summed up what really matters quite eloquently:

“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”

Sunday, May 16, 2010




Robert Downey Jr. and Bixby in the same picture and that funny guy from The Hangover but that's not relevant right now.

Robert. Downey. Jr. AND BIXBY. In the SAME. Picture.

My life might just be complete now.

You may resume your scheduled programming. Carry on.