Great White Snark: Introductions are in order.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Introductions are in order.

Hey there bloggity blogworld.

I finally decided maybe I should try my hand at this. The primary reason I haven't done so yet is because frankly, I fail to see why anyone would care to read about what I've got to say. The secondary reason of my hesitation is that I am terribly opinionated and have had, in the past, blogs accessible to the select few who won't be offended by my spewing of hatred and malice. And snark. And my tertiary (I just wanted an excuse to use that word, honestly) excuse is because I am quite prone to wild mood swings. One day I want to try and get as disgustingly, whorishly famous as possible just like everyone else. The next I wish that everyone would just entirely forget I ever existed, including people who read my blog. So I'm concerned that I'll fall into one of these moods and just stop updating for like, three months and then all of a sudden I'll start writing again once I've already gone and lost my readership. Alas, that's just something I'll have to deal with. :)

Note to the readers: despite its name, this is not a humor blog. If you're looking for a page full of ha-ha-ha's, this is probably not going to be it. Mostly I'll just whine here, as whining is one of my favorite passtimes. If you're looking for something funny and amusing try failblog or YTMND or something.

Another note to the readers: You can feed my fishies on the right-hand side of the page. Just click your mouse in their water and a feeding frenzy will begin. Oh, internets...what WILL you think of next?

I thought I'd start this post off with a list of some of my favorite book and film introductions. Certainly not all of them, but these are the ones I could think of right off the top of my head.

-"I'm Chuck Bass."
-"My name is Sherlock Holmes. It is my business to know what other people don't know."
-"The name's Bond. James Bond."
-"Son, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. Savvy?"
-"I am C-3PO, human-cyborg relations, and this is my counterpart, R2-D2."
-"Han Solo. I'm captain of the Millennium Falcon."
-"My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
-Entire song of "This is Halloween." Particularly, "I am the 'who' when you call 'who's there?'"
-"Caterpillar: Who are YOU?
Alice: This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. I -- I hardly know, sir, just at present -- at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then."
-"Hi, Christopher. I'm Nero."
-"Geoffrey Chaucer's the name, writing's the game. You've probably read my book? the Book of the Duchess? No? Well, it was allegorical."

There. That's 11. Do you have a favorite introductory line? I know I'm gonna hit "PUBLISH POST" and then think of like five more that I like better. Alas.

Hope you enjoy my ramblings here! Keep checking back!


  1. -"Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here."
    -"Me? Nobody. Just a... spectator enjoying the ride."
    -"Heeeere's Johnny!"
    -"I am Arthur, King of the Britons."
    -"I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing."

    And HOW could we do a list like this without:
    -"I'm Batman."


  2. --"'It's Cash and Jewel and Vardaman and Dewey Dell,' pa says, kind of hangdog and proud too, with his teeth and all, even if he wouldn't look at us. 'Meet Mrs Bundren,' he says." (THIS IS FROM AS I LAY DYING WHICH YOU NEED TO READ)

    And, because it's the only other one I can think of:

    --"Okay, the little dark-haired girl is Alice. She's REALLY weird, and, um, she's with Jasper, the blonde one who looks like he's in pain."