So, I'm shelf reading at my job, which is where you look and make sure all the books are neatly on the shelf and in proper alphabetical order. And I come across this:

And the first thing my mind thinks of is this:

Wasn't he supposed to be retired?? Wishful thinking?

Anyway. 

Job is great. I'm working for my dad, too, during tax season which is nice. I haven't read anything amazing in 2014, but I did read something kind of funny, so expect a book review here soon. 

Personal life= nonexistent. Social life= pretty much the same. 

BUT, I'm thinking sometime this year I'll apply for grad school to get my master's in library sciences. Which is dangerous and exciting and scary all at once. Is it problematic that the most terrifying aspect of that whole thing is passing the math section on the GRE?

Sound medical advice...from 3 year olds.

Girl 1: What happened? What happened to your knee?

Girl 2: KNEE!

Boy: *worried face*

Me: I got a boo-boo on my knee.

Girl 1 (pointing at knee brace): What's that?

Girl 2: THAT?

Boy: *worried face*

Me: I wear that and it helps my knee feel better.

Girl 1: How did you hurt your knee?

Girl 2: HOW?

Boy: *curious face*

Me: I fell down. 

Girl 1: Did you fall on your dog?

Girl 2: Were you wearing a long dress?

Boy: You fell?

Me: I did, I just fell over my own feet. 

(All three look at me like, "WAIT, THAT CAN HAPPEN?")

Me: It was an accident.

Girl 2: CRAYONS! 

*Girls run off. Boy stays and starts petting my knee.*

Boy: I could get you a band-aid. 

Me: *dead*

Boy: I could kiss your knee and get a band-aid and put medicine on it and it would feel better.

LIKE OMG, EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO DIE FROM CUTENESS. 

This is why the human race won't go extinct, because sometimes kids are just too freaking adorable and sweet to handle. 

Happy this year.

Source.

New Year's Resolutions

• Spend more time outside: I am like, two steps away from becoming an actual vampire, so I think spending some time outdoors is much needed. Also, I always notice that it puts me in a good mood, and I sleep like a baby on the days I've spent outside.
• Mark the passing of the seasons: the only season I actively wait for and notice is fall. I'd like to change that. 
• Try all the things I've always wanted to do: namely, archery and fencing. But I have to wait until my stupid knee heals.
• Eat more veg and move more. Duh. 

That's it. If I write any more crap I'll just feel depressed if/when I haven't accomplished it. 

Also, I'm posting this here, more for my future reference than your amusement: 

"Around 1990, when Jim Carrey was a struggling young Canadian comic trying to make his way in Los Angeles, he drove his old Toyota up to Mulholland Drive. While sitting there looking at the city below & dreaming of his future, he wrote himself a check for $10 million, dated it Thanksgiving 1995, added the notation “for acting services rendered”, & carried it in his wallet from that day forth. The rest, as they say, is history. Carrye’s optimism & tenacity eventually paid off, & by 1995, after the huge box office success of Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, The Mask & Dumb & Dumber, his asking price had risen to $20 million per picture. When Carrey’s father died in 1994, he placed the $10 million check into his father’s coffin as a tribute to the man who had both started & nurtured his dreams of being a star."

-Jack Canfield, The Success Principles

I had a really nice Christmas, btw. It was nice and quiet, and just really good. I hope all of your holidays were great, and Happy New Year!