All I wanna do is *bang bang bang bang* and *cocks gun* *cha-ching!* and take your money.

Dear Emobloggers,

Please stop whining. Please. Or at least stop being so public about it. You've no sense of propriety whatsoever. No one is fooled by your langorous descriptions of friends' parties into thinking you're deep or tormented or whatever. Like everyone else, you're completely unique.
Please go listen to the Beatles and write down ten things that make you happy. Or things you're grateful for. Even if that includes seeing Owl City in concert or getting a new pair of skinny jeans. We'll look past that. For now.
Also invest in a real, touchable, paper-filled diary, where you can expound all your deepest, darkest secrets without looking like a douche in front of God and everyone on the internet.

We love you, Emobloggers. Just please shut up.

Love always XOXO,
The GWS