Those school girl days of biting nails and telling tales are gone.

Today, I took my VERY LAST FINAL.



But before we celebrate and all that, we need to take a second so I can tell you my story of what happened today. Because I finished WITH A BANG.


So, today I had a really great game plan. I was going to run a couple errands, pick up my cap and gown, and grab some stuff from the pharmacy before they close for Christmas. So I'm just taking my own sweet time, because my planner reads, "Pirate Final: 3p." I've got till 3 to get stuff done, so I figured, "Oh, I'll go this morning then come home around 1 and study until I have to leave again."


I had not studied at all, at this point, because this is how I feel about studying at this point in my undergrad career:


So I'm just like, lollygagging around. Got my cap and gown. No problem. So I'm sitting in the pharmacy and my friend, Jessica, who's also in the class, texts me and is like, "Hey, I don't want you to miss the test! You might still have a few minutes."

I look down. I got that text at exactly 1:00. It was now 1:16.


It then dawned on me that I was in great and terrible danger of entirely MISSING my very last final.




So, I go up to the counter, DEMAND that they hurry up, and then get the hell out of there. I RAN. Like a madwoman.


And, this is totally ironic and if my life were a novel, English majors would be all over this moment, but a couple years ago I got HORRIBLY lost around the Engineering and Business Administration buildings. So I now know that you can cut across Biz-Ad to get to Engineering AND that there's a testing center in the one wing where you can buy all the stuff you need to take tests. So even though I was late to a very unimportant class then, I was now HOPEFULLY going to make it (albeit somewhat--very--late) to a rather important test.




So, I go into this hallway where I was lost 2 years ago and there was one of those scantron vending machines, because I was absolutely unprepared for this test. In every sense. So I go, find the machine, and all I have in my wallet is a $5, which is fine because it takes fives. SUPPOSEDLY. It rejected my five, like, six times. So then I go to buy a soda and get change. And this works...UNTIL IT DOESN'T GIVE ME CHANGE.


So, I eventually get it to give me back a handful of change...enough to buy a scantron.

So then I continue running

and get to my classroom as other people are leaving. It's now 1:29. So I go in, a panting, sweaty, mess, and my professor looks at me like I have a third head. So I'm like, "Hi. I just got here." And he looks at his watch, and he MEANLY says, "You're half an hour late. Why should I even let you take this exam?"
I was like:


So, in a spell of quick thinking, I told him I'd been stuck at the health center and whipped out my receipts, which were time-stamped to about fifteen minutes earlier. This isn't exactly a lie. It's twisting truthful circumstances to most beneficially suit my current predicament.



Luckily, HE LET ME TAKE THE TEST.


So, even though I damn near almost missed it AND hadn't studied a single page, I took my last final. And I think I knew more than I didn't. Either way, like I care.

BECAUSE I GRADUATE IN ONE WEEK.










One week from today: COMMENCEMENT.