Great White Snark: I can't go out. *cough cough* I'm sick.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

I can't go out. *cough cough* I'm sick.


This may well be my favorite movie line of all time. DON'T JUDGE. IT'S NOT CONFESSION TIME RIGHT NOW.

So last night was HIDEOUS. I felt terrible at work (not something I recommend doing. Ever.) and ended up vomitting like that girl from "The Exorcist" all over the back room.

Needless to say, I think I have the flu.

So last night, as I feverishly followed Winkin, Blinkin and Nod, I made a list of things that were going through my mind, because I knew they'd be a hoot in the morning light.

Oh, Subconcious, you never fail to disturb amuse me.

-I think the main reason I so disliked Seinfeld at first is because the show is so dark. Not thematically, but like, lighting-wise. Some of the earlier seasons just look SKETCHY. We're very used to pretty lights (think the Apple Store, or the new Star Trek), and Seinfeld's apartment is just plain DINGY. I can't appreciate humor when I'm wondering if a $10 hooker is gonna show up from the back room.

^^Exhibit A of our affinity for brightly lit places. Captain Kirk cannot do SCIENCY AWESOME STUFF in the dark, you guys.

-Speaking of Seinfeld, what did they do with his apartment set after the show finished? Where is it? Did they dismantle it? Auction it off? Is it sitting in a backlot in Hollywood someplace? Is it in a museum?

-Also speaking of Seinfeld, I am very disturbed by all the "new" sitcoms coming to the CW this fall. If they Conan Seinfeld, I will Chris Brown the CW.

-This was not on my list, but I miss Conan. A lot. And now he has a show ON CABLE. THANKS, COCO.

-Also, OMG, STOP comparing Lindsay Lohan and Robert Downey Jr. I will scream if I hear this comparison made one more time. Okay, here's the thing. RDJ actually SERVED his time in prison. I'm betting LL will pull a Paris and spend like, 8 nights there. Then, when he got out, he STILL wasn't better. He had to get to that place HIMSELF. And that takes guts I just don't think Lindsay has. Not yet. She might get there, and I hope she does, because I do think she has a smidgen of talent. Not as much as the media says, but it IS there. And I don't want her to die or anything. Just...STOP, okay? It's not the same.

-What is "Despicable Me" about?? Why "despicable?" What's the plot? Who are the little yellow Mr. Blick's in goggles and overalls? Steve Carrell? WHAT IS THIS MOVIE ABOUT?!? WHAT!!!WHAT!!!!

-On a very serious note, all this oil spill stuff is making me SO angry. I can't even really get into it, because I think it'd be a whole other blog post. But it just makes me want to cry that the ILLUSTRIOUS powers that be are doing NOTHING to help this crisis. Because it IS a crisis. And it's global. For now, it's local. But do you REALLY think that if nothing is done, and that STUPID HOLE keeps chugging out THOUSANDS of barrells of oil a day that it ISN'T going to affect the global market eventually? NOT TO MENTION, Y'KNOW, THE OCEAN!??! It just really makes me angry. Maybe it's because I grew up 40 minutes away from the ocean in any direction, but I feel a really special connection to the seas and stuff, and I'm OUTRAGED that so little is being done. It's only a matter of time, guys, and WAY too much has been wasted already.

I'm looking up VALID ways to help out, and once I conclude my research, I'll post my findings here.

Sorry that ended on such a depressing note. Hmm. OH I KNOW. Here's a video I can't believe I wasn't aware of until I saw it on Jimmy Fallon last night.

THIS is one of those things I spent about 15 minutes SOLID cracking up over, and I don't think it will ever NOT be funny. Kinda like the Sneezing Panda. Ahh...laughter is the best medicine, you know.

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